The Camel Ruminates

Bookmaker Give Away Lots of Money!

2011-10-11T13:12:00.001-07:00

Back in the early days of internet poker one site was the place for action.

The $25-50 PLO games were legendary, with fortunes being won and lost daily.

And of course where there was action, there were Scandies, gambling it up with the best of them.

Sadly those days are long gone.

That site's poker action is a thing of the dim and distant past.

But something strange happened, and no-one at the bookmakers HQ could understand it.

A group of the Scandie player left huge amounts on deposit even though there was never any games for them to play and they were heavily limited in their potential to bet on sports.

Rumour has it that 7 players left over £1,000,000 each in their accounts.

Had they simply got so much money that they had forgotten about it?

Oh no.

For five long years these guys exploited a loophole that the bookie was too stupid to notice.

If you want to bet in the bookmakers sportsbook you do so in sterling, if you want to play poker it's in dollars.

This site set their exchange rate for the day at 8am.

If during the previous day the pound had strengthened against the dollar the Scandies would transfer their entire roll from the sportsbook to the poker room at 7.45am.

At 8.15, they would transfer back at the new rate.

If the pound had gone up as little as 0.2%, that's £2000 profit on £1million for half an hour.

If we can guess that the pound went up roughly 50% of individual days by an average of 0.05% that is a risk free profit of £456,250 each over the 5 years.

Not bad work if you can get it!

If only they were as generous with their real punters...

Awesome Photoshop

2011-09-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

Separated at Birth (Part 3)

2011-09-06T16:27:00.000-07:00

Lemmy

Devilfish

Back, I Guess

2011-01-10T03:48:00.000-08:00

Have I got anything new to say?

Not sure really.

Me and Warney

2010-01-24T20:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not often starstruck, but I sat next to a living legend at the Aussie Millions.

Really nice bloke but pretty terrible poker player.

Couldn't Have Happened to a Nicer Guy...

2008-12-06T14:50:00.001-08:00

http://www.argusleader.com/article/20081206/NEWS/812060304

Separated At Birth (Part 2)

2008-08-12T16:04:00.001-07:00

Big Chris

Roland De Wolfe

"Factotum"

2008-05-16T13:20:00.000-07:00

"The Florida State Department of Employment was a pleasant place. It wasn't always as crowded as the Los Angeles office which was always full. It was my turn for a little good luck, not much, but a little. It was true that I didn't have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30am by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?"

I Just Reread my Whole Blog

2007-10-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

It was pretty good for a while there.

Wasn't it?

Oh to be young again.

Alternative Wikipedia Entry

2006-11-13T19:45:00.000-08:00

I found out there was a wikipedia entry about me a couple of months ago. Like alot of wikipedia submissions it is riddled with mistakes. Anyone who uses wikipedia as a serious source of information is an idiot.

Anyway, I was alerted today that a few months ago someone edited my entry. These changes led to a far more entertaining and accurate representation of me than the stuff that is there at the moment.

I reprint the edit here in full:

"He supports Barnstaple Town F.C. and is a passionate angler. He once made an unsuccessful appearance on Going For Gold and his favourite TV programme is Catchphrase. Keith is also the founder member of the "Dave Hill Appreciation Society".

His favourite food is lentil stew with salad, which he regularly makes for his best friend Vinnie Jones, using his favourite Delia Smith recipe. He was best man at Vinnie's wedding and godfather to all of Delia's thirteen children, including three Somalian refugees adopted by her.

Keith is an avid fitness fanatic and thinks nothing of running a half marathon before breakfast. In 2002 Keith ran a total of 4000 miles non stop in order to raise money for his favourite charity, Kentucky Fried Chicken. Keith managed to raise a staggering £4.50 and with his proceeds bought a large Zinger Tower Burger meal and shrewdly swapped the drink for a corn on the cob. He met his hero, Jimmy Saville, during this run and they have often been seen on TV running the London Marathon together. Infact they both buy their garish gold tracksuits from the same mentalist tailors.

His favourite film is Titanic, and every Sunday you will see Keith of the bow of a P&O Dover to Calais ferry, recreating the famous 'I'm the king of the world!' scene, as played by Leonardo Di Caprio. Infact many people believe that they are twins, separated at birth.

Keith's extensive working life has been fullsome and highly producitve. In 2002 Keith excelled himself whilst working for bucket shop online bookmakers, www.bluesquirrel.com. During a highly pressurised and intensely busy evening shift, Keith was charged with full responsibility for the three upcoming ladies tennis matches taking place in some pointless ATP event. Given very specific instructions by his boss, best friend and mentor Steve Tucker, that read very clearly: "All you have to do is suspend three matches. Thats it. Nothing else. Just suspend three matches when they start. It could not be any easier Keith".

Through sheer hard of watching TV and playing online poker, Keith successfully missed the start times of all three tennis matches, thus leading to utter chaos and carnage. Infact the losses amounted to nearly £1.6bn pounds, forcing the bookmakers to cut back on lunch expenses to a maximum of half a banana per staff member. Customer services had to emply 1400 new staff just to deal with the mess left by Mr Hawkins. This was by and away his most productive and successful day during his glorious spell at Blue Squirrel."

The Return of the Poker Quiz!

2006-10-24T07:13:00.000-07:00

Just one question.

Which famous (maybe that should be infamous?) poker player was recently sent for 12 year holiday at one her Majesty's hotels?

On a totally unrelated note: has anyone seen my old mucker Craig Grant recently?

Quality

2006-07-31T18:45:00.000-07:00

While I play a spot of online poker I have a rerun of an old poker tournament (the Monte Carlo Millions consolation event from 2004) blahing away.

Adam Schoenfeld is a highly amusing co-commentator and he came up with this gem when talking about the number of sunglasses Jac Arama brings to the table.

"I think Arama mistakes wearing sunglasses for having a personality"

Boom boom.

WPT Championship - Day 1

2006-04-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I am lucky I can title this blog "Day 1", which at least suggests there might be a Day 2 to blog about. To be frank I played so badly in the first 3 levels I pretty much deserved to be out. If it was a 10,000 chip event I would certainly have hit the rail sometime inthe first two hours..

Anyway, here is a brief synopsis of intresting stuff which happened (comments on any of the hands are welcome):

Took my seat in the regular cardroom, rather than the Fontana Lounge where most of the tournament action takes place. Only two players I recognise are Mark Seif (two to my right) and David Chui (on my immediate left).

I soon find out the geeky looking guy in seat 2 invented the game "Grand Theft Auto" and was worth a zillion quid or something. He moved allin twice when the following hand came up after about 30 minutes. Blinds are 50-100 GTA (as I will call him) raised to 400. Seif reraised to 2000 and GTA called. Flop came 89J with two spades. GTA checked and Seif bet 5k. GTA immediately moved allin for 48k. Seif made a ballsy call with two red kings. GTA had KT spades and was clear favourite to win the pot. But he missed his draws and Seif doubled up.

Soon after I raised to 300 with AK. Chui reraised to 800. I called. Flop KJ2 rainbow. I check called 1000. Turn a 7. Now I check called 2500. River another 7. I check called 6000 to be shown a house of jacks. Horrible play by me. I should have check raised on the flop and when Chui either called or rereraised had nothing more to do with the hand. Wasted well over 6k in this spot.

Early on during the next level (100-200) I limped with Jc8c. A very tight and seemingly inexperienced player now raised to 800. I called. Flop came Qc8s3c. I check called 1200. The turn was a juicy 6c. Now I check called 5k. My read was he had KK or AA with the appropriate club. I was planning to bet the river quite heavily if no club arrived. But just before the dealer showed the last card the guy grabbed a whole bunch of chips and looked manacingly at me, trying to intimidate me into checking. 99% of the the time this action means the guy is HOPING you will check and will meekly check behind you. Therefore you should bet any even haf decnt holdings, let alone the third nuts. But, before I had even given myself 3 seconds to think things through I had checked and he, sure enough checked behind me. He showed KK and I won the pot. Urgh.

I lost an yucky pot during the next level when I raised with AK and saw a flop of AKT. I bet quite heavily but was disappointed to see that the one caller was rewarded with a jack on the turn and led out with a huge bet and flashed me AQ when I passed.

Overall I played weak, timid poker throughout the first 3 levels, I was really nervous, which I haven't been at a poker oturnament since my first couple of attempts at the WSOP. I didn't think clearly and acted too quickly.

During the early stages of level 4 I moved to the Fonatan lounge and was greeted by a table featuring Brian Wilson, TJ Cloutier, Mike Gracz and Joe Sebok. They were all safely to my right however. I arrived with about 35k in chips and a resolve to play more positively and aggressively.

Let me describe a beautifully played hand that I wasn't involved in. I have no idea of the context, because it was within the first 15 minutes of my arrival.

200-400 blinds. TJ raised on the button to 1500. Sebok now reaised to 5k (leaving himself 24k). TJ called. Flop was 732 rainbow. Sebok bet 10k. TJ pushed allin. Sebok passed to be shown AT by TJ.. Sebok starts shaking! A great read by Cloutier...

Here's an interesting situation: With the blinds still at 200-400 someone opens for 1800. He gets 4 callers... and I squeeze AA out in the BB. I have 32k and all the players have me comftably covered. What should I do?

Now onto the last level of the day... two final key hands. Now we are playing 300-600 and I have 40k. Gracz opens in late position for 1800. I call on the button with 44. The flop comes 752 with two diamonds. He checks and I fire out an exploratory 3k. He calls. I am pretty sure he just has overcards, possibly with the flush draw. The turn is another 7. He checks and I bet 7k. He agonises and calls. When the river comes 6d he bets 9k. Hmmmm. Would he have called so much on a flush draw? Although I think it was a bad call by him, I decided he did. And he flashed me the AKd.

Then with 5 minutes remaining and 19k in chips TJ opened for 1800 on my sb. I called with AT. The flop was AK7 rainbow. I checked and so did he. With a pretty ten (which made 2 clubs on board) on the turn I bet 3k to be greeted by the question "How many chips do you have left?". When he called I was almost certain he had a draw of some kind... Probably a flush draw. The river was another ten. Now, the only way I could see getting paid here was to check and hope TJ bluffed at me, which he did by moving in and I beat him into the pot and doubled up.

Tomorrow is another day. I have 37k in chips which is plenty to work with as the blinds are just 400-800. I really played horribly for the most part but was pleased with the final two hands. Game plan for tomorrow is as always dependant on the table draw, but my focus will be on aggression..

Cameluck II - Finally Something to Blog About...

2006-04-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

(This blog has been half written for about 2 weeks. I just couldn't be arsed to complete it. I will leave the detail I have already written but become alot briefer as I've forgotten most of the hands/incidents from the Vic already!)

Before I forget all the relevant going ons (or is it goings on?) I better complete the Vic festival week..

Friday: Met Joe, Claire and the twins for lunch. Lola and Millie are so delicate and tiny it was impossible not to fall in love with them.. It is frightening to admit I can barely remember Jake at that age..

Anyway, here is the gratuitous pic:

(This pic seems not to be working for some reason, I will reload it when I get home from Vegas)

Cue jokes about Joe holding a small pair etc etc...

A couple of hours of kip followed by the free(!) buffet at the Vic and into action...

As I was meandering into Darlo yesterday my mind went back to my exit hand of the £750... I'm afraid I misreported it in the last blog. It was even worse than I portrayed. When the sb bet out on the flop, I was so concerned the limper had a big hand I just called his bet and then called again when the limper moved allin. Yuck. So, on contemplating my plan of action for the main event I decided to just trust my instincts and play poker the way I used to. I felt I haven't played my best for at least 18 months, probably the disappointing finish in Amsterdam in 2004 left more of a mark than I originally thought. I can almost see people like BDD and Andy Ward laughing their collective heads off, but I wanted to play the way I used to. Put pot odds, position, value betting and all the techncal stuff on the back burner and just play the way I used to. Pressure the table from the off, try and make them worried about what I was going to do before anything else. If a guy makes a bet at me, I wanted to look at him and feel if he had a hand or not, and if he didn't to raise him regardless whether I had goods..

My table draw wasn't exactly favourable. I had 3 ultra agressive players sitting directly to my left: Mads Andersen, Rob Yong and John Hewston. But I got a late Christmas prsent from a Scandie when I turned a nut straight with JT (Board AQ6,K)and he called my raise and then led out with A3 when he rivered two pair! This meant I could really mix it up. I probably played more pots in the first three levels of a major tournament than I have ever before. Then I got a full double up from John Hewston when I called his raise on the button with 9T and was gratified to see a AT9 flop. I called his flop bet and when a 7 came off on the turn and he checked I knew he had AK or similar. He called my bet of 3000 and checked again when I housed up on the river. John has alot of qualities as a poker player but being able to lay a down a hand isn't one of them. So I simply moved in. He called with AQ and I was off to the races.

I played as well I can remember on day 1. Everything fell into place and my timing was spot on. I wasn't called on a siungle bluff and when I had the goods I was paid off. I ended the day in excellent chip position and hopeful of a good result.

As well as played on day 1 I played badly on day 2. In my defence I had monster chip leader Marc Goodwin on my immediate left and he was calling everything all day. I felt handcuffed. On my right was Stephen Pearce who could quite possibly claim to be the most annoying player I've ever faced. The rub down he gave Alan Vinson's young son after outdrawing him in a huge pot was almost unforgiveable.

Cameluck came into play half way through the day when John Kabbaj, who was on my table and similarly stacked, asked me whether I wanted to swap 5%. I think he's one of the best players in Europe and I hestitated for about 0.000001 seconds before agreeing.

After strugging all day, Goodwin finally gave me a double up when I tried the old stop and go move on him and it failed spectacularly but I had the best hand and it held up. Then much to everyone's amusement Pearce wanked away a huge stack before finding KK against a perfectly played AA. He missed the money.

Next morning we met DY for a spot of lunch:

Before going back to the Vic, pretty short stacked for the third and final day. I got a pretty quick double up when I took my QQ against Tim Flanders T8 flopped straight draw and it held up. Then a little later another double up with AK v AQ. I moved into a lovely position with about 18 players left. But, alas it wasn't to be. I doubled up El Blondie, who asked for a saver soon afterwards (Cameluck rides again) which I agreed to obviously..

Then the fatal hand for my chances occurred. I raised in middle position with TT and Tim Flanders defended (as he usually does against me) in the BB. I was watching him pretty carefully as a flop of Q43 with 2 hearts arrived. I was pretty confident he didn't hit the Queen. He checked and I bet about 3/4 of the pot, which was roughly half my stack. He immediately moved allin. I took a long time agonising over my decision, but finally laid it down. He showed T8 hearts. Ok, he might have hit his flush, but I was really pot committed and should have gone with my instincts and called him. Oh well. I lost my remaining chips in a coin flip and went out about 14th. Disappointing for sure, but I was pleased with my overall performance and then very pleased when my two swapees managed to make the top 3. Lucky old Camel.

Alot of bullshit was talked at the time about the structure of this tournament. I wrote an article for Blondepoker about it. If you are interested you can read it here.

Then it was home for a few days to prepare for Vegas and the Bellagio. On route to Gatwick we stopped off to Luton for the main event there. Said hello to JP Kelly before proceeding started and he asked to swap 5%. Really Phil Ivey and Barry Greenstein should be begging to swap a % with me here at the Bellagio for the big one. I'm such a lucky bastard.

As for my tournament it was a non event really. I had the most rocky table I've ever encountered in a Luton tournament. I stole my way to 12k before playing my first big pot, when I flopped 2 pair and "the geezer" flopped a set. I should have laid it down but I wasn't in the mood.

Off to Vegas on the Tuesday. Shared a plane with Tony Bloom, El Blondie and Roland De Wolfe and interesting chats with all of them. Played the $2500 and got pretty much cold decked. Turned a King Flush against a ace flush. Ho hum. Decided to play a $1000 side event the next day. Cracked kings with JT early. And had a healthy stack most of the way. Made a nice call with third pair against a very aggressive player for all my chips. The bubble lasted nearly 90 minutes as we fought tooth and nail to get in the money. Finally a guy found 66 impossible to pass for a reraise. A nice rush of cards 6 handed left me one of the chip leaders. And with 3 guys patently not playing a hand against each other when a chip count deal was offered I accepted. These are massively in favour of the chip leaders and my $22k was probably 10% more than I would have accepted especially as the other players would have colluded against me if I objected to the deal...

I said when I came here that if I won enough money I would play the main event. Now I've actually got the dough I'm not so keen. I am prepared to put some up and sell some. So, if anyone wants to buy a piece let me know. I would need a small premium, say $2500 for 7.5% (or pro rata) to help cover expenses. I honestly feel like I'm playing the best poker of my life.

On Saturday came the event I really wanted to blog about... Tony Bloom rang me and asked if Katharine, Jake and I would like to come out for dinner "with a few friends". We didn't have anything planned so we accepted.

The "few friends" happened to include Billy Baxter, his wife and son. Now, if you haven't heard of Baxter you really should have done. He is an absolute legend. He has 7 (count 'em) WSOP bracelets despite not playing holdem events until the late 90's because he was partners with Doyle Brunson and let Doyle play those. He staked Stu Ungar into the third WSOP main event he won. Oh, yeah, he's also probably one of biggest 3 sports betting winners in the whole world. I commented to Harry Demetriou that if some bookmakers knew that Bloom and Baxter were in the same restaurant at the same time there was a good chance they would set fire to the place!

It was one of those evenings you just don't want to end. Conversation drifted betwen internet poker, the merits of Phil Ivey, the WSOP past compared to present, sports betting and living with a gambler.

It was like having dinner with Pele, Frank Sinatra or Neil Armstrong. An evening I will never forget. It was the biggest example of Cameluck ever that I was lucky enough to be invited...

Cameluck

2006-03-28T10:45:00.000-08:00

By my new "stay at home, put my slippers on, light up my pipe and play on Pokerstars" lifestyle last week was pretty damn hectic.

A quick rush through the nine day week...

Saturday: Catch an unhealthily early train down from Darlo to Kings Cross for the R's make or break game with Brighton. It's not make or break for the players of course. With the R's safely ensconced in mid table and the Seagulls needing an act of Parliament to stay up the players couldn't give two shits about the match. But for me it was huge. Assuming Reading don't fuck up totally I have just two long term bets running on the Championship. I am short of Brighton points at 46 (Yum yum) and long of R's points at 64 (Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww). A real six pointer for me. Rangers pretty much played them off the park for the first half and should have been 3 or 4 up. They weren't and when Kevin Gallen got sent off for swinging an elbow in the amusingly named Paul McShane's (first rule of comedy yada yada yada) face it was always going to be a nervy last half hour. Brighton never really threatened until Marcus Bignot launched a perfectly placed header into his own net with about 5 minutes left. Cunt.

Alcohol was always going to be a pretty big part of the day. I met Andy Ward for a pint before the game (he even defied his super wimp status by having one himself!) to congratulate him over his wise decision to leave the dark side and give up work. Best of luck mate.

After the game it was off to leafy North London for Tony Bloom's birthday party. An eclectic mix of guests included various poker players and gamblers who arrived at regular intervals after getting busted out of the £200 tournament at the Vic. There were also a couple of the marketing types from Pokerstars who got very very drunk and spilt all sorts of interesting secrets about the company and some of their players. Undoubted highlight of the evening was watching Alex the Gent dance to Wham! I only wish I had some way of capturing the image. He looked like a goldfish on speed doing the breatstroke. Highly amusing. I also had the following exchange with someone I hadn't seen for about 3 years.

"Oi, Camel why are you ignoring me? You've walked past me 5 times and not said hello"

It wasn't that I was being rude on this particular occassion.. It was only when he opened his mouth that I recognised him. The guy had lost about 8 stone. Amazing. He looked about 10 years younger too. If Jake isn't incentive enough for me to lose weight nothing is. So, if anyone sees me in the process of eating a pie, a cake or some chocolate, do me a favour and snatch it off me. It's very hard, but I am determined to do it.

Sunday: Had to move hotels. The Marrriott Marble Arch is 10 times better than the Metropole and much closer to the Vic. But it didn't have any rooms for Saturday so I had to switch. Arrived 5 minutes late for the super satellite and was told I can't buyin as entries close 30 minutes before the tournament starts due to "new computer system". I begged and pleaded with the poker guys and they managed to squeeze me in if I promised not to be late again.

Lifetime I am many thousands down at supers and I managed to fail to win a seat again even though I tried much harder than usual. I only had three rebuys and had an above average stack when I lost as 1-3 favourite three times in quick succession. Ho hum. Stupid game anyways.

Monday: Played the £750 NL tournament at the Vic. As I took my seat I waved hello to Julian Thew. He waved back and mouthed "Do you want to swap 5%?". He's a fish, but a pretty lucky one, so I nodded yes.

I soon discovered I had drawn a very juicy table. Only James Vogl posed a potential threat in my mind although he was two to my left which is about as bad as it gets.. But, he pretty much kept out of my way so I could get on my merry way.

I must admit, with so many chips on offer I played a little too tight and didn't take full advantage.

One interesting hand sticks in my mind. I raised under the gun with KK to 600 at the 200-400 stage . A fairly loose player minimum reraised me in middle position. Hmmm. I wasn't passing but I was concerned he had AA. So I called (We both had approximately 8000) and saw a JJ2 flop. I checked, hoping to check raise. He checked behind me. Curiouser and curiouser. Turn is a 9. I'm confused now and check again. He follows suit. WTF? The river changed nothing. I honestly have no clue what he's got. I probably should have bet but checked. He bet 1000. NOw I thought he had quad Jacks. But I called, and he showed me the boots! I don't know who played the hand worse!

I moved upstairs to a very interesting table. Three to my left was Paul "Action Jack" Jackson. I must admit I took an instant dislike to Mr Jackson when I first met him, mainly because he put a horrid outdraw on me when he made a terrible play against me two tables out in a big tournament at Walsall which he went onto win. But also because of some misogynist ramblings by Paul in a Poker Europa article. But, after sitting and playing with him for a couple of hours it seems I was wrong. He has a sharp sense of humour at the table (always a plus point in my book) and seems quite congenial company. He also proved in an mpeg you can see on www.tillerman.net that he is a truly excellent player in hand with Phil Ivey at the Monte Carlo Millions. Possibly the most remarkable hand in the history of televised poker. Check it out.

But, I'm afraid I can't be so nice about Mark Teltscher who was to be frank a bit of an arse. He never once shut up and bored the table rigid with his inane nattering. I have no clue about his playing abilities but when he dissed Chris Bjorin after the Swede got knocked out, he proved he has no clue about poker. Chris has already won more than Teltscher will ever win.

I got a nice treble up at the 600-1200 level when Colin Kennedy moved in late position, the guy in the cutoff did likewise and I found the boots on the button. But, at 25k that was as nice as it got. I wanked away about half my chips when a tight player limped on my BB. The sb made up and I picked up AK in the BB.. The caller shook a little as he limped and I half fancied he had a big hand. The flop came K63. Much to my surprise the sb led out with a pot sized bet. I only had 10 bb's so it was pretty much now or never I felt. I moved in. The limper beat me into the pot. He had flopped trip 3's. Another misplayed hand..

Tuesday: I took the Darlo flyer back home for a couple of days. Received a rather nice text message on the way which said Thewy had chopped the £750. Nice work mate. Katharine had an important poetry reading and I didn't want to miss it.. Plus a week away from the little fella would be just too much. K and J would be coming down for the weekend.

Wednesday: Katharine's reading, with Jake in attendance for his first poetry performance. We drove through the night to arrive at the Marriott at about 5am, only to be told our room had been sold to someone else because we were "non arrivals". This was despite the fact I told Marriott when I booked the room the earlies we would arrive was 3am, and possibly much later. They let the room go at 1am. Luckily someone else had failed to show, so we had their room...

Thursday: The Vic pretty much let you choose which day you played in the £1500 tournie and knowing I would be knackered after a long drive, I chose Friday. So Thursday was left to a long lay in followed by getting jake to meet up with some poker glitterati for drinks and dinner..

Jake looks a little less thrilled by meeting Vicky Coren than vice versa...

I'm sure Francis Rohan would like to "get locked up" with this group.. From left to right: Me; my poker mentor "Backdoor" Bob Coombes; "Taliban" Bob Pigg; Vicky Coren holding Jake and Neil "Bad Beat" Channing.

To be continued...

Annual Meeting of the "National association of Impoverished Punters" (NIPs)

2006-03-16T19:08:00.000-08:00

Cheltenham Branch.

Update: Amazingly, I understand from feedback noone recognises many of the faces in this particular rogues gallery who met up on Champion Chase day at Cheltenham..

So, from right to left: Tony "The Hat" Conner; Katharine; Jake; Tony's wiser half Tessa; Alex "The Gent" Goldie and Stevie "The Bald Beast" Bennett (who scared the living daylights out of Jake with his removing hat routine!)

Basically....

2006-03-09T09:49:00.000-08:00

...I couldn't give two shit's about the poker circus anymore.

Some stuff happened at the Deauville EPT which two or three years ago would have got me saddling up on my high horse and riding into more controversy. And where would it have got me? At least 2 more enemies and possibly banned from EPT events in the fuure. I am not going to cut off my nose to spite my face ever again.

As for laying off The Ambassador, well, I don't even care very much any more what happens to him. If he can look himself in the mirror and feel happy, good luck to him. I just felt a bit sorry for the Aces Poker investors who lost their cash and would dearly like to be playing in Monte Carlo, the WSOP, the Bellagio etc but can't afford it because they lost all their savings in this venture.

By the way Richard, in no way was I taking the piss out of DW for playing a £5 tournament. I wasn't angry at Mr G for suggesting I couldn't afford the buyin for Monte Carlo. There is no shame in not being able to afford 25 lumps in my book. I think it's DW taking the piss, playing these huge tournaments while the investors look on.

From now on, if it's controversy you want, I suggest you look at DPommo's blog. Rory Liffey is great bloke and doesn't deserve the abuse Pommo gives him. As for me, I will just be happy getting my wages on 'Stars and keeping my head down..

And here, now nearly aged 6 months, is the reason for my serenity:

Glimmer of Light for Aces Poker Investors!

2006-02-20T15:06:00.000-08:00

Well, the intrepid few who lost several pocket loads of cash investing in Aces Poker might finally have some good news..

The Ambassador himself, Aces Poker supremo Dave Welch who was last spotted in a £5 rebuy tournament in West Bromich will soon apparently be playing in slightly more exaulted company.

According to the grapevine he has found himself a backer who is going to put him in at Monte Carlo, the Bellagio and the WSOP amongst other events.

Investors can cling to the hope if the great DW has a right result he will pay back the money lost.

Hang on, what's that in the sky? It looks very porcine to me....

Tidying Up Again

2006-02-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

I don't post for about 3 months and when I hear a story that might amuse some people I get one hell of a negative reaction. And you wonder why I haven't bothered blogging recently?

For the record I didn't post the name of the hack involved for 2 reasons. Firstly, if I did it would have pretty obvious where I got the story from and I didn't want that to happen. Secondly, while the hack was obviously a bit naughty, I don't think it was the most heinous of crimes. After all he was only taking advantage of the publicity hungry site effectively trying to bribe him into giving them a good review. In the world of scams like Aces Poker I think what the hack did was a mosquito bite. As an aside I am happy to confirm the hack invoved wasn't Nic Szeremeta. Why DY went out of his way to say this in the comments I don't know. Nothing I suggested in the orginal post pointed it to being Nic and it wasn't.

As for hand I described I took longer to decide what to do than ever before on Stars. Finally I erred on the side of caution and folded. He showed me 86! Hats off for a top class moody. Shame I beat the fucker anyways!

Badbeat reckons the reason I stopped blogging was to leave my Reading tip at the top of the page. What a cynical fellow. Still it was a good tip by my standards and I think it's time to reinvest some of the potential winnings.

I have had a pretty dismal season on the NFL. But the Superbowl gives me the chance toget out of it. I really fancy Seattle to win outright but in what promises to be a very tight game the 4 points start the odds men are offering are just too juicy to turn down.

I could give you detailed reasons why it's a good bet. But I can't be bothered. Just get on.

55 points Seattle (+4) to beat Pittsburgh in the Superbowl.

Off to Deauville for the EPT next week. Going to try the Ferry/Driving on the wrong side of the road route this time. Wish me luck! I don't drive very well on the correct side, heaven knows what I will be like on the wrong side!

What Would You do Here?

2006-01-25T11:04:00.000-08:00

Had an interesting situation come up yesterday. What would you have done in my position?

I have played about 3 minutes of a $500 heads up match on Stars with someone I've never played before.

The chips were for all intents purposes level (1500 each) when this hand transpired:

He has the button and the small blind of 10. He raises to 60 and I call with A8.

The flop comes AJJ rainbow.

I check and he bets 80. I call.

Turn card comes a Queen. I check again and he bets 140. I call. (I know, I am just a calling station!)

River comes another Jack.

I check and now he types "Chop, chop".

Then, much to my suprise he moves allin!

Would you call or pass? And why?

Here's a Strange Tale...

2006-01-23T14:34:00.000-08:00

I heard an interesting story at Luton at the weekend.

An unnamed writer for a poker magazine (you can make your own educated guess as to who it is, but please don't make those guesses in the comments section!) contacted a poker site and told them he was writing an article about online poker and would they care to open him an account and deposit $1000 so he could try out their software and report on it for his eager readers.

The ever publicity hungry site readily agreed.

The next day they received another email. Our hero had lost the grand and hadn't really tried everything out. Could they furnish him with another large one?

Reluctantly they agreed.

By the fifth day they were not so forthcoming. They decided to have a look into his hand history.

One hand in particlar shone through.

Playing heads up our hero raised with AA and got a caller.

The flop came AAx!

Hero bets all his stack except $1.

The caller raised the odd dollar.

Three guesses what our intrepid hack did next....

Look, a Polar Bear!

2005-12-21T18:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas!

Good News!

2005-11-08T15:53:00.000-08:00

I've just found my lucky socks.

Amsterdam will be a doddle now!

Get On!

2005-10-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

Haven't got much time so I'll keep this brief. (Hurrah! I hear you rejoice.)

Reading are quite simply an each way gift for the Championship at 11/2.

Fill yer boots!

50pts each way Reading for the Championship (11/2 Hills 1/4 1,2,3)

Prostituting Myself...

2005-10-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

The for sale sign is up.

I'm looking to sell a bit of myself in the main event at Amsterdam in a couple of weeks.

Now I've got an extra responsibility I can't go round playing 5 grand tournaments every 5 minutes s I've decided to try and sell a bit of my action for the Master Classics.

They are adding 45k so it should be a good value tournament and I have got decent course and distance form, I've played the event 4 times and made the final table twice. If I don't bottle it this time I might even finish better than seventh...

To help cover expenses I am asking for a small premium: 500 Euros for 8% is fair I think.

If you aren't interested, do you really think it's worth your time posting abuse in the comments below? I have heard everything you could throw at me many times before, thankyou.

If you are interested, email me at thehawk67@hotmail.com.

End of sales pitch.

Separated At Birth?

2005-10-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

Albert Steptoe

Keith "Bendigo" Sloan

Falling In Love....

2005-10-11T08:39:00.000-07:00

An email thudded virtually into my inbox last night from the Poker Bastard.

His legion of fans will be relieved to hear he is still around ready to expose, ridicule and puncture the odd inflated ego.

So, what did I owe the honour of a correspondance from the esteemed PB?

Back in February Poker Europa ran a rather personal attack on me. On the same page there was an article praising the PB. I wrote an email to the PB suggesting it would be rather damn fine if he wrote something rather nasty about Nic Szeremeta who I assumed penned both articles (I have since discovered even though the pieces had a byline of Nic Sz his serpentine former assistant Phil Shaw actuallty penned the bile). The PB responded that if I wanted to write something he would put it up on his blog with total anonymity. I was so damned angry at the time I was sorely tempted to take the caped crusader up on his offer. But, for some reason which escapes me, I decided not to.

Last night's email was basically repeating the offer.

Now, this time, I know why I'm not going to do it.

Because I really don't care anymore.

It's not that I don't support what the PB has set out to do. I do. There is a ridiculously high percentage of tossers, shysters, wankers and gits in poker. I hope the PB exposes as many of them as possible.

It's just my days as the angry young (or not so young) man of poker are behind me.

The reason? Jake. He has changed my priorites completely. I don't care if player A cheated at the Vic. I don't care if player B abused player C at Luton. If player X wants to con player Y, well that is really nothing to do with me.

Jake is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. And most of the time in between too. Yes, I've gone soft. And to be honest I don't really give a damn if that's what you think. Because it's true.

I think I know by now who I can trust in the world of poker and who I can't. I know who the good guys are (and I am relieved to report there are alot of them around) and who the bad guys are. I will just stick to the company of the people I like and trust when I venture back into the poker.

If someone can look at themselves in the mirror and be satisfied what looks back at them what point is there in me telling the world what a tosser they are? It achieves very little apart from making me an enemy. And I've got far too many of them regardless.

Yes, some things continue to upset me. There is a very talented young player I know. He is a good kid and could become a top class player. I fear he is getting himself into the wrong company and will be lead off the right tracks. But, instead of telling the world what is happening to him on this blog, I will buy him a beer and have a quiet word in his shell like. That will be my modus operandi from now on. Keep my head down and get on with my business.

And my business is Jake and Katharine. I think I'm falling in love. And damned good it feels too.

Here's one more picture of Jake just to prove he really isn't ginger. (Not that there is anything wrong with being ginger. It's just that he isn't!)

Introducing the WSOP Champion 2027

2005-10-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

Mr Jake Brian Banner Hawkins:

He was only born at 8.18pm on September 30th 2005 and he already knows not to play Ax suited in early position and the folly of trying to steal the big blind from small blind.

He is showing early nipping promise too.

Some Jake special bets:

Spread on how long it will take to change my pokerstars picture to one of him: 4-6 days.

Odds on who Jake ultimately supports: 4/11 QPR 2/1 Darlington 66/1 bar two.

Betting on Jakes first word/phrase: 4/1 Value. 5/1 Lucky. 7/1 Fish. 12/1 Unbelievable. 25/1 You'll be alright. 50/1 Have you got a score until Friday? 100/1 Marvellous.

Months until he plays his first tournament: 60-62

Months until he tells his first bad beat story: 60.1-62.1

Seriously. Mother and Baby are doing great. Father is a bit bewildered but very very happy.

A Treat For Anonymous....

2005-09-20T16:18:00.000-07:00

This comment appeared under the "Everyone Needs a Hero Blog"...

'Anonymous said...
My hero is D Welch
'The ambassador' puts so called poker celebs like D.Coldcough in the shade.'

So here is the Ambassador in all his glory:

The question which must be answered is: What is Dave pondering in the picture?

1) A particularly tricky call for all his chips?
2) Is there anyone in the casino he hasn't nipped yet?
3) A new internet poker venture which is going to make alot of people very rich?

I Don't Envy Pokerstars One Little Bit...

2005-09-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

The World Championship of Online Poker on Pokerstars was a stunning success. The huge fields and massive prize money left everyone staggered.

Then we came to the final event. A $2,500 buyin No Limit Championship event. First prize was the little matter of $859,000. Pokerstars could justifiably hope the champion could be plastered all over the internet and the media as an example of how to win nearly a million bucks in the comfort of your front room while just wearing your boxer shorts and scratching your balls.

But, for 'Stars disaster struck. The winner was a player called Panella86. His name is Jordan Berkowitz. And as this article proves Mr Berkowitz is only 18 or 19, ie according to American law, an underage gambler.

Now, whether or not he should be allowed to gamble is not the point. (The fact he is old enough to father a child, drink a bottle of Jack Daniels and die "for his country" in Iraq but not play $1-$2 limit hold in his local casino is pretty bloody ridiculous). The simple fact is that he not old enough to play poker.

I wouldn't like to be in the Pokerstars office today faced with the thorny issue of what to do about this case. Should they pay out Mr B and be accused of supporting under aged gambling? Or should they withhold the loot and be accused of cheating a player of nearly a million dollars?

Ladbrokes had a similar case about 15 years ago. A kid went into a betting shop and had a £5 tricast on the Derby. Nashwan to beat to 150-1 shots. It copped. Now, bookies don't accept tricasts on non handicaps and they tried to pay him out with the forecast. (About £5000 if I remember correctly instead of £250k if they had taken tricasts). They was a huge outcry and after a week or so, Laddies agreed to pay out a special dividend for their trifecta of about £100,000. The kid still wasn't happy and refused to accept it. Then Ladbrokes found out the punter was only 16 years old. They then just returned his stake money and threatened to take his parents to the police! Of course a million punters then worked out if they sent their 17 year old niece into the betting shop to put their bets on they couldn't lose! But that's another story....

But the principle is the same for Pokerstars. I guess they will pay out the money and quietly close the account of Mr Berkowitz. Still, I wouldn't like to be the member of staff who has to make the decision of what to do...

Look, a Badger

2005-09-16T06:37:00.000-07:00

Everyone Needs A Hero...

2005-09-05T17:37:00.000-07:00

...and here is an interview with one of my heroes.

It is a gem and shows just why the memory of JB should be truly treasured.

Enjoy.

Why Does he Bother?

2005-08-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

Can some explain why Paul Samuel bothers?

He spends about five hours explaining in complex mathmatical terms why AKo has 6.55% chance of beating AA.

All very impressive. Except if you go here you will find out he's wrong.

So, why does Paul bother? Pokerpages must be paying him a fortune to justify all this work. Perhaps I should ask the Hendon Mob and Cardplayer for a pay rise...

Calm Down, Calm Down

2005-08-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

I really lost my rag yesterday over the bad etiquette bollocks.

When Rob Sherwood accused me of "shooting an angle" on the Blondepoker forum I really flew off the handle. If their had been a cat in my house I would really have feared for its safety.

But, I've calmed down considerably now and acknowledge I went about the whole thing incorrectly. If I had tabled my hand in the first place none of this would have happened. I was marginally wrong not to, but by announcing my hand I was virtually conceeding the pot as I was 99% sure I had lost. Sit at any table and you will see players announce their hand rather than table it all the time.

But, where I really went wrong was in criticising Rob on his blog. I should have taken him to the bar at the break, bought him a beer and pointed out how wrong it is to ask to see my hand and why it is so wrong.

And to call him "delusional" and to call his play "dreadful" was immature of me in the extreme and I apologise for doing it. The things we do in anger eh?

But, if you forget all the bollocks that has happened since, it was a very interesting hand and for once I would like to analyse the hand in question. As always, comments and thoughts are welcome...

I will look at it from Rob's point of view, because he had the big decisions in the hand. What are his correct plays? (I make my analysis in brackets after each of his plays)

Blinds are 150-300 and Rob has about 12000 chips.

I have about 8000 in chips and limp in earlyish position.

Rob makes it 800 to go with AKo in mid/late position. (I prefer a slightly bigger raise, just to define my hand and deter too many callers. I guess the limper is going to play but I certainly don't want a 3 or 4 way pot with AK. But I suppose 800 is ok)

Everyone passes back to me and I call. (Now, this in itself means nothing. I call all the fucking time. But, perhaps Rob could put me on a broad range of hands at this point. A small pair, Ace-x suited or suited connectors seem favourite. But, pretty much anything within reason is possible).

The flop comes Qs 4d 2d. I check and Rob bets 1000. (Fair enough, it's very likely Rob has the best hand here and a continuation bet of 1000 is a good way of finding this out for sure.). I call. (Now, what have I got? If I am calling I pretty much certainly have some of this flop. But what exactly? AQ is unlikely because I probably would have raised preflop. Possibly the same with KQ. A flush draw is certainly possible. It could even be as bad as Qx of diamonds although I probably would have reraised with this. A set of 2's or 4's is also something to think about. As is a pair between 4's and Queens and I am waiting to see what the turn brings in case Rob has AK or similar. Basically from Rob's point of view I could have a huge range of hands and he's either losing to them now, or I have a draw which means I could lose on the turn or river).

Turn is 3d! Now this could hardly be a worse card for Rob - even though he's got the King of diamonds. Now I bet 2200. (Hmmm. Whatever I have got Rob must be 99% sure he is losing here. If I flopped a set I have to bet here to protect it.. I am laying Rob a little less than 3-1 with my bet. If I turned a flush I similarly have to bet to avoid giving Rob a free shot at hitting a bigger flush. If I have a set Rob has 11 outs {8 non pairing diamonds and 3 non diamond 5's} If I have a small flush he has 7 outs. If I have just a queen {Rob's best hope by far} he has many as 17 outs. I think it is so difficult to put me on a hand it is a clear pass for Rob, after all he has got only ace high and in worse case scenario is drawing dead}. Rob calls.

Comments anyone?

Chaos Is Right...

2005-08-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

In fairness to Rob Sherwood in the hand where he demanded to see my hand as I was first to act I should simply turn my hand over. And then he would turn over his winning hand.

But, as I didn't turn it over. I announced my hand (which is fairly common), I still maintain it is extremely bad etiquette for him to ask to see my hand. Something I have never faced in 15 years of poker.

On a related point, it is extremely annoying that the dealer turns over all cards at a showdown at Sheffield. They say it's to avoid chip passing. But, if you were intent in chip passing you could just bet one chip on the river and the colluder will just pass.

Instead, this rule stops players playing bad hands or even bluffing because they don't want to be embarressed about everyone at the table seeing their hand.

The sooner they scrap this rule the better.

Oh, a quick note to Lovejoy... you don't really have a tell... I just wanted to make you a bit paranoid. That's the least I could for the pain you caused me with that outdraw!!!

Hats off to Mike Sexton

2005-08-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not the biggest Sexton fan in the world for various reasons I won't bother to bore you with here, but I must say I'm impressed with his criticisms of the WSOP.

They are spot on.

Top Of The League!

2005-08-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

Not QPR unfortunately. They just got tonked by Coventry City 3-0 in the first game at Ricoh Stadium.

No, top of the league is me. After winning the main event at Sheffield yesterday when pokerineurope.com update the 2005 rankings on Wednesday (assuming they have the Sheffield results to hand by then) I will have a slender lead over Stewart Nash. DY, latebet and all the other "poker is about winning money" merchants will have probably have a hearty giggle in my direction but I would really like to win the rankings. Not for the 10 grand in prize money (although obviously that would come in handy) but purely so I can say I was the most consistent tournament poker player in Europe in 2005. I doubt very much I will triumph however. I am taking a couple of months off poker starting today to attend to some other matters. And when I return to the scene I certainly won't be playing so much. Although the way the rankings are compiled does give me some sort of chance. In other years missing 4 months poker would have meant I had no chance as it was the cumulative total of all your final table points for the year. In 2005 they have changed the criteria. Instead, your points total for the best 10 scoring events is what determines your position. So, if I can finish highly in a couple of high scoring events I still have a squeak. The fact Dave Colclough and Stewart Nash are going to Lithuania proves they are trying flat out to win them too. Being much more dedicated than me, one of them, probably DC, will almost certainly win.

But, if DY and his ilk will sneer at me for letting ego get in the way of my poker (probably correctly) I will say that trying to earn rankings points has definitely concentrated my mind recently in the tournaments I've played. Here is a quick rundown on all the events I've played in the last couple of weeks:

£1,000 NL @ The Vic. Made the last 4 or 5 table in healthy chip position when Jim "Septic Tiger" Britton made a world class move and I suffered the consequences. Blinds were 400-800 and I've got about 16k and the sb. A guy limps for 800 and Jim decides to make it 10k to play with A5o. I wake up with KK and move in. Limper passes and Jim is forced to call. Flop comes 234. Nice work if you can get it.

£5,000 NL @ The Vic. Managed to avoid going broke with QQ v Henry "The Nugget" Nowakowski's AA in the first level. If you have played with the Nugget you will know what a feat this was. Played really well on day one of this tournament and finished with 44k for second position. Day 2 was a massive disappointment. On the very first hand the sb hadn't taken his seat. I raise in mid position with 66. Simon Trumper reraised. I was pretty sure he was raising because he thought I was stealing due the absent blind man. I should have moved allin. I didn't. I called and we checked it down. he had J9 for second pair. Ugh. I lost nearly 1/4 of my stack on the first hand. Horrid play. I struggled all day after this but never got back to 44k. I did come close when tripling up with KK about 6 hours later but it was a false dawn. Within sight of the money (about 20 left) a massive stack raised and I moved in with AQ. He called with QJ and flopped a Jack. I was sick.

£300 NL @ The Vic. Trebled up within the first hour and was one of the chip leaders when I called a raise in the BB with AT. Flop came a juicy AT3. The action went check, bet, raise, reraise, allin. The geezer called all this action (the allin bet was a raise of approx 5k) with one pair, AK! Naturally he rivered the King. God bless 'im.

£200 NL @ Luton. Now, there has been alot of talk of the great structures of the tournaments at Luton recently. And yes this event was very slow. Too slow IMO. How can you get 100 bb's and a 45 minute clock for a £200 comp? I played dreadfully in this event. It was the one tournament in this 3 week spell where I didn't "put it all in". I just got incredibly lucky. I pushed allin against another big stack with AQ. He had AK. I rivered a flush. I raised with 85 suited and a huge stack reraised me... I called, flopped a flush draw and went allin. He called with KK. I hit on the river. Yada yada yada. It just went to prove that if you're prepared to stick your chips in the middle you've always got a chance. A bad maniac can win. A bad rock can't. I had a enormous stack. With 4 table left I had 20% of the chips in play! I wanked alot away... but managed to make the final with an average stack. I turned down a deal 6 handed... and then raised Jen Mason's blind with K3. She called. The flop came 992. She didn't have any of this of course... so I moved in. She didn't need any of the flop. She had the boots. I certainly didn't think she was capable of playing a big hand this way. But she was probably aware I wanted to get to Loftus Road for the R's first game of the season and rightly thought I would pay her off. Congrats.

£750 NL @ Luton. Probably the most annoying comp I've played this side of the WSOP main event. I played great and just got fucked over and over again. I quadrupled up early and was sure I was going deep into the comp. Then this hand occurred. Charlie "The Mechanic" Bambos limped for 100 as did Lovejoy. As Bambos only had 1200 I decide to raise to 700 with AQ to try and get heads up with the short stack. He made the silly play of calling which gave Lovejoy odds to call too. Flop came A86. Bambos checked and Kevin bet 2000. Hmmm. He does have a tell when he's bluffing and he displayed it here. I couldn't believe he would have a hand where semi bluffing was an option for him (57 or 79). So an outright bluff seemed most likely. I wanted to give him the option of bluffing some more chips off so I simply called. Bambos passed. Turn came a 5 and Lovejoy stuck in 7000! He didn't display the same tell but I decided to go with my original read and called him. He had 44. River was a 7 for a straight. Grrrr. I then proceeded to lose big pots with AK v AJ and AQ v AT. It was ridiculous. In none of these situations should my opponent have committed so many chips, yet each time they did they sucked out. My night was finished when I lost with a pair v overcards. I wasn't very happy driving home I can tell you....

£300 NL Shootout @ Luton. What a difference a day makes.. The shootout was two single table satellites. With the winner from each table going forward to the final. I got lucky in so far as drawing one of the 9 player heats but very unlucky with my table draw. Bad Girl Pham, Stuart Fox and WSOP man Laurence Gosney all featured. I hot a few hands and got a bit lucky and managed to win the table... The folly of Luton's structures became apparent in the final. The heats featured a 30 minute clock and a starting stack of 100bb's. It took forever for everyone to finish. They wanted it all wrapped up in one day so, when the big money was to be divided (the final) they shortened the clock to 20 minutes and only gave us 50bb's to start. By 40 minutes of play the starting stack was only 12.5bb's. Ridiculous. So, with prize money approx 1st 10k 2nd 5k and all the rest 1k I gambled it up! I picked up the boots early and doubled up. I found AK a couple of times. I won a huge pot with JTs v 99. In short I played to the clock. By the time we got three handed the blinds made for a crap shoot so we did a deal. I got £5400 which was slightly less than I was due to by chip count but I was completely knackered and couldn't be bothered to argue for my extra £300...

£1500 NL @ Luton. The main event was a disappointment. I never really got in sync. My bluffs were badly timed and my good hands never got paid. One hand of interest. With 8000 in chips I limped for 300 with 45s. Rob Sherwood raised to 800. I had him down as a bit of a rock and thought I could outplay him on the flop. We saw it two handed: Q42 with 2 diamonds. i checked and he bet 1000. It was an intriguing board and there were alot of turn cards which would either help me or be very scary to what I assumed was a big pair. I called. The turn came 3d. I fancied this was a lovely card. I fired 2200 into the pot. I really couldn't see him calling with AA or KK unless he had the diamond in that suit. He called. Ugh. The river came Kh. I decided to preserve my 4000 and checked. He checked behind me. I announced "one pair" and he immediately turned over AK (with the Kd). I think it was a horrid call by him on the turn and he got very lucky. So be it. He paid a high price when he might be drawing very thin and hit. Good luck to him. I tossed my hand to the muck. Then he asked to see my hand. Personally I think this is VERY bad form. As Ray Hammer said at the time "You've won the pot, isn't that enough?" But he insisted. It would have served him right if I had misread my hand and thrown away 2 pair. But, unfortunately I hadn't. This is the first time in 15+ years I've been playing poker someone has asked to see my losing hand. Very bad etiquette I think. Get it quietly for Goodness sakes. Stupidly I let this affect me a bit and didn't play too well for the next 90 minutes or so. Very unprofessional. I moved tables with a tiny stack...2500 or so. Very first time I was in the blinds I peeked down at the boots. The sb was a monster stack with 50k or so and let me walk!!! That summed up my night. I busted out 10 minutes later with AK v AA. Marvellous.

£200 PL (with rebuys) @ Sheffield. My table was like the rock of Gibralter. How I managed to have two rebuys and an add on is something I should be ashamed of. I made it somehow to the last three tables when someone doubled the bb in early posi. He got 4 callers so I was dutibound to stick in the extra 800 with 34o. Implied odds and all that. The flop came pretty nice. I flopped a pair and a gutshot straight draw. So I went allin Junior Hill called with 99. I missed my outs and was busted. C'est le vie.

£750 NL @ Sheffield. I hate to emphasise a point this often... but again a main event at a locals casino proved to be tremendous value. So many players aren't used to playing on a slow clock with loads of chips that they bust themselves. An example from this comp: A guy seemed to be a maniac. He had turned his 5000 starting stack into 20k with some very strange hands. I decide to limp UTG with KK. All pass to him on the bb (Playing 50-100). He raised 500. I called. Flop: 752 rainbow. He bet 2000. I called. Turn was a queen. He now fired 4000 into the pot. I considered moving allin but if he was indeed bluffing i wanted to let him double me up. So I called. He checked the river which was a 9. I bet 4000 and he called with T2o!!!!

I did have one very nice hand after this. I limped with 66 and was delighted to see a flop of 644. One of the guys in the blinds had T4 and a ten on the turn sealed his fate and doubled my stack. I had a huge stack (40k+) by the time the blinds reached 200-400 but for 4 or 5 hours I made no progress and gradually returned to the pack. As we neared the end of the night however I went on a mini rush and won a couple of big pots and ended the day with 85k which was well above average for the 16 players returning for day 2.

Day 2 didn't start great. I twice got called bluffing. I was soon below average. Then I got a free look at 238 (2 hearts) flop with 45h. And managed to win a nice pot. Still, I was well below average when the final arrived. Playing 8 handed I found AK UTG. I had 40k and the blinds were 3000-6000. I decided to move in to try and get one of the big stacks to call thinking I was just stealing the blinds. Hassan Mohammed instacalled allin. Then a short stack went into the tank and called too. On their backs it was good as I could hope for QQ for Hassan and JJ for the other caller. I hit two aces and trebled up. I played pretty well for the rest of the final. One play I was pretty proud of was check calling big bets from John Law on the turn and river with just ace high and winning.

Jim Reid was a thorn in my side all final. I was relieved when he busted out 4th because he had reraised me 3 times pre flop and forced me to pass. I know we were due to play a big pot sometime soon and he probably would have had the better of it. Three handed I found some good cards and played very aggressively. It was the first time I have won a big tournament with no deals so I am extremely satisfied.

A good three weeks. I have won over 30 grand and enough rankings points to lead for now. Whether I will win is doubtful. But, for now, I am pretty damn pleased.

Ok, I'll admit it...

2005-08-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am the poster "forum watcher" on the Gutshot forum.

Now, I have to choose my words to describe why I made the two posts pretty carefully in order to keep my new resolution of not slagging off the Gutshot "Collective". (The more I look at the word collective after the word Gutshot the more incongruous it looks!).

Anyways, here goes:

About a week ago I spied a post by "the truth" on the pokerineurope forum. It described how one of the Gutshot WSOP qualifiers was allegedly forced to play the main event with a ticket in the name of Gutshot supremo Mr Barry Martin. Now, as the only thing which inhabits the the PIE forum these days are a few tumbleweeds, me and probably DY I thought it wise to repost the allegation on the Gutshot forum itself. I decided to use an anonymous ID because I thought if I posted it in my name the response would be something like "What business is it of yours? You've never been to Gutshot".

At this moment it must be stressed how important it is to have a ticket for the WSOP in your name. The Rio stressed you cannot get a refund or transfer your ticket. Why this was, I don't know. I think it was a pretty crappy rule, but a rule it was nonetheless.

The first time I posted the allegation it got hijacked by an attack on Game for Life. And there was virtually no debate on the serious alleagtions. So I reposted it. This time we got a debate. Other allegations surfaced. Gutshot qualifiers were forced to share rooms. Would you like to share a room with Pedro for example? But, more seriously a poster suggested that the Gutshot qualifier in question played in seat won by Mr Martin in an online qualifier. The player was asked several times was he indeed Mr Martin. Understandably the worry he was playing illegally and might be disqualified affected his performance severely and he was knocked out very early. Who is to say if he went deep into the tournament he would have been paid his prize money anyways?

The thread is called "Blimey" if you want to check it out.

But, you should be warned that alot of the posts in this thread have been deleted. As far as I know, none in the oginal thread which became a discussion on Davey Newth "More Gutshot Sleaze" have been deleted. Which makes you wonder what exactly Gutshot have to hide.

It's a bit like the rake issue. It's not the amount of rake which Gutshot take which is an issue it's the Gutshot's management refusal to debate it which is disturbing. In this case noone in the Gutshot hierachy chose to respond to the allegations. Do you not agree this is somewhat surprising?

Update: I should have checked the Gutshot forum one more time before I posted this. Derek Kelly has posted a response to the allegation now. It all seems pretty plausible but he doesn't mention if the player used an online qualification in the name of Barry Martin. If he did, this is still bang out of order. If he didn't the it all seems reasonable.

Also, why were so many posts in this thread deleted?

Feels Pretty Damn Good

2005-07-31T16:43:00.000-07:00

Decided to head up to the Toon for the Newcastle Festival this week.

Managed to squeak into the final of the £100 NL. The blinds got pretty big and it turned into a bit of a lottery. Found TT and pushed in but Steve Lui had JJ and that was that.

Struck down by a cold I decided to give Friday's PL comp a miss.

So onto Saturday and the £500 double chance freezeout.

James Browning devised a very good structure which afforded loads of play. No crapshoot in this event.

The play in the early stages confirmed my ever growing belief that the main events in the provincial casinos are the best value poker events in Britain today.

Let me give you two examples of how i got off to a flying start in the event.

I managed to get to 20k (from a 10k start) pretty early. With the blinds 150-300 a guy with about 12k makes it 1000 to go with KK. I call on the button with 66. The BB now moves in for another 1200. The original raiser now just calls! I call too, flop a set and bust him.

Then, during the next level (200-400) an early position player limps and a young guy who had played perfectly well for the first couple of hours now moves on the button for 20k! Lucky old Camel discovers the boots on the small blind. So, with the chip average about 13k, I managed to accumulate over fifty large.

I would be lying to say I played well. The chips fell into my lap and I picked them up. The rest of day 1 was spent bullying and nicking until for the last hour I got moved to the right of WSOP champion Laurence Gosney. What a pain in the arse this bloke is. When I moved to his table I had over 90k. There were five tables left and I had more than the average for the final. But, it was inevitable I would clash with LG as we both like to play loads of flops and play them aggressively. He got the better of me in two big pots by simply outplaying me and cut me in half. I then got very lucky against Jas Pardesi. He raised my bb and I moved in with AQ. He called with AK and I lucked out by the boarding pairing twice for a split pot.

I was steaming and lucky play ended when it did. I would have tilted off the rest of my chips I think.

Day 2 was a different matter. I played really well today. I never put my chips in danger and shifted gears well. Laurence continued his path of destruction on the other table (he was moved early today, thank God).

I managed to get double my stack without showing a hand (apart from a couple of minor allin calls) and get to the final in pretty good shape.... third in chips.

For the first hour of the final Mr Gosney seemed like he was going to absolutely walk home with the prize. He knocked 4 players out in the first lap... all of them outdraws! By the time we were 5 handed he had 4/5ths of the chips in play. He was playing 90% of pots and raising virtually all of them. The only way to stay alive was to avoid him.

But, eventually the tide turned. he doubled me up when he called my allin raise with 93 (I had AK). He hit a 3 on the flop of course but I managed to turn an ace. Then, the key hand. Laurence moved allin on the button. The sb called and I woke up with QQ. I was in excellent shape against A7 and AQ and trebled up, eliminating a player in the meantime.

Down to 3 handed George Harle proved once and for all Laurence was falible. He called a raise and checked a flop of TT9. LG moved in with 55 and George showed JT to win.

Chip stacks were now: George: 400k me: 250k Laurence 100k. With £27,400 in the pot Laurence offered a cheeky deal. Me and George £10 grand each him the rest. I agreed quickly and surprisingly so did George.

I must admit I was pretty delighted. Not just because I had split the tournament, but I was really pleased with the way I played. I somehow managed to dance around Hurricane Gosney and picked my spots perfectly. George was definitely Man of the Match and deserved the trophy. He's definitely one to watch in the future if he decides to devote more time to poker.

As for the tournament itself, it was great. Stanley casino really pushed the boat out. New tables and chips were provided. Dealers, although inexperienced, were eager to learn and friendly. A free buffet was provided every night. It really was refreshing to see a casino try to please its punters.

A very enjoyable and satisfying few days.

Have a Little Look Here...

2005-07-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.pokerpages.com/tournament/result12366.htm

31 Runners.
Paying 10,000E each.
Prizepool 238,000E.

Can someone enlighten me what happened to the other 72,000 Euros?

Bollocks

2005-07-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

I pretty much gave it everything but the cards chose the most important tournament of the year to spit firmly in my face.

I had an incredibly good table. One guy, who only lasted 15 minutes, played every single pot to the river when he had a pair. He called off his last $5000 when the board showed KKJ92 with pocket fives.

The rest of the table was a juicy mix of rocks and calling stations.

But, for virtually the entire tournament when ever I got involved in a big pot I was royally buggered.

For example:

During level 1 I flopped a set of 7's against an obvious overpair. He caught a backdoor flush with the King of hearts.

Level 2 opened with me holding KK against 9T on a flop of 974. He rivered another 9.

I took on a short a stack with KK. He had AK. You can guess what the river was.

The fact I survived for as long as I did was testament to what an incredible table I was on. I think I was reraised only twice in the 7 hours I played.

I had 8,000 at the dinner break and was delighted to still be around. In a normal big event with ill fortune I suffered I would definitely have been toast by then.

Level 5 began and I felt my fortunes had turned. I flopped a set of jacks and got paid. I picked up the boots and won a nice pot. Then the first hand which led to my downfall occurred.

We were playing 150-300 with a running 25. A tightish player with about 15k raised my big blind to 900. I called with 76spades (I had approx 17k at the time). Flop came over 982 with two hearts. I checked and he bet 1000. I check raised him 2500 more just to see exactly how much he liked his hand. He called. Hmmmm. An overpair looked most likely but him getting stubborn with a flush draw was a possibility too. Anyway, I was through with hand unless I hit my straight. Bang! An offsuit 5 rolled off on the turn. Now, how much to bet? I wanted to bet enough to get him to be making a bad call with a flush draw, but not too much so that he could call if he had the overpair. There was about 9000 in the pot and he had about 10-11k left. 4000 seemed the right amount. He would be taking a little over 3-1 about a 4-1 shot if he did indeed have the flush draw. So, that's what I bet. He hummed and hawwed and finally called. The four of hearts was the river. I was watching him as it fell and he almost jumped out of his chair. I was 99% sure he had made it and checked to him. He simply moved in. I passed and he showed me A9 hearts. He had flopped top pair and a flush draw. Against a more aggressive player I would have lost alot less chips as most would simply move in after my check raise with this hand. I probably should have bet slightly more on the turn but I honestly felt he had an overpair and didn't want to scare him off. Anyways, if he called 400 who is to say he wouldn't have called (or moved in) if I had bet 5 or 6k?

Back down to about 9k I started my kleptomania again. I stole my way back to 15k in about 45 minutes. Then the big pot occurred.

There were 4 limpers to me on the button. Naturally I called along with 97hearts. The sb made up and the bb checked. We saw the flop of 862 with the 8 and 6 being hearts. I flopped a straight flush draw! Checked around the final limper bet 1200 into the 2300 pot. Against strong players my hand is a definite raise. But against this motley crew? I wasn't so sure. Someone could easily have flopped a set or got stubborn with 99 ot TT or something. I would be favourite against an overpair and about a coin flip against a set. But, I didn't really want to gamble on this table. I certainly wasn't passing at this stage and although a hefty raise could have worked there were so many limpers I wanted to see what they did. So, I called. The bb now raised 3000. Everyone, including the bettor, passed. Now, I made my big mistake. I was pretty sure he had flopped two pair. I *have* to move in now. The guy was an absolute rock. I think there was a good chance he would have passed here even with bottom 2 pair. But, I was still didn't want to play a pot for all my chips when I was drawing. I'm not usually scared to stick 'em in with a draw, but on this table? I just didn't want to do it, when chips on this table were so easily up for grabs. So, I made the weak move and called. Horrible, horrible play. I figured I still have 10k if I missed and although he probably wouldn't call me if the flush came, he could easily double me up if I hit one of the 6 straight cards.

The turn was a black ace. He bet out 3k. Ugh. With 15 clear outs I cannot pass. Moving in wasn't really an option now, as he would be almost dutibound to call. So I call again. I miss on the river too and he checks. The allin would have been futile and I chek behind him. He shows 84 for top pair and no kicker. I felt physically sick. If I'd moved in on the flop I would have won the pot. Even on turn when he bet so weak, I probably would have picked it up with an allin. Even a river bluff might have been successful against the player in question. I played with the guy for 8+ hours and this was the nearest thing he made to a move all day. Bollocks.

I still had 7.5k left. More than enough on this table, but my hopes of another comeback were quickly scuppered. I raised on the button with AQ and the sb moved in for 4k. I called he showed A3 and flopped a flush. The final denoument happened soon after when I moved in with 77 and got called with QQ. He madce quads.

I don't think I've ever been so disappointed to go out of a tournament. With normal luck I could easily have ended the day with 50k+. Instead I am left to rue a terribly played pot and ten grand down the swanee.

Thank God Katharine is in Vegas and was there to console me. I was so tilty after busting out the dice table would have taken one hell of a pounding if she wasn't here.

So little time...

2005-07-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

I think it's safe to say the WSOP has begun in anger now.

Never being one to be afraid to stick my oar in, here's a few random thoughts of some quite extraordinary happenings at the Rio during the last couple of days.

Firstly, congratulations to Paul McKinney for his win in the seniors event. The guy is 80 years old. Truly amazing that someone of that age can win a bracelet. He's a really nice bloke and I'm chuffed for him.

Secondly, Vinny Vinh has confirmed my opinion that he is perhaps the biggest tosser in the world of poker. I was playing on his table last year at the Bellagio when he raised my big blind for the 4th consecutive round. I moved in with KQ and he called instantly with A8. I outdrew him. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and called me "a fucking motherfucker". Charming. But, he isn't just offensive. He proved when headsup in the $10k PLO final he is also a slimy weasel.

This is how Cardplayer reported an outrageous incident:

"Date / Time: 2005-07-05 02:04:00
Title: Rafi Amit Doubles Through Vinny Vinh; F-Bomb Penalizes Him 10 Minutes
Log: After a flop of 9c-8d-8h, Rafi Amit bets, Vinny Vinh reraises $344,000 more, Amit pushes all in, and Vinh calls. Vinh shows Ad-10d-8s-5d (trip eights), but Amit has Jh-9d-9s-4h (full house, nines full of eights). Vinh is drawing very thin, needing to catch the fourth eight or running aces to win the hand. The turn card is the 5h, the river card is the 2c, and Rafi Amit wins the hand.

The chips in their stacks are counted down, and Vinny Vinh has about $95,000 left.

But wait, there's more ...

Apparently, Vinny Vinh heard Rafi Amit say the "F-Bomb" during a hand a few minutes earlier, which is a mandatory 10-minute penalty. There is a sustained argument between Rafi Amit and Assistant Tournament Director Jack Effel, and multiple sides to the story, but the end result is that Amit is being blinded off for ten minutes at $8,000-$16,000."

Amit did not abuse anyone. All he said was something along the lines of "Fuck it, let's gamble". Vinh lost the pot and then squealed about Amit swearing. If he had won the title after such an underhanded move he should be ashamed for life. Thankfully, justice was done despite Amit losing $200k during the penalty. He recovered his composure and beat the obnoxious little git.

Thirdly, this Amit/Vinh case just showed what a ridiculous thing the "F bomb" rule actually is. Fine, if you abuse, insult or threaten another player or dealer you richly deserve a 10 minute penalty (probably 10 minutes is far too little in many cases). But for using the word "fuck" in whatever context receiving a penalty is juvenile in the extreme. We are all adults for christsakes. If we were playing in a church, fair enough. But we are not and whoever thought up this rule should just fuck right off. Boom boom!

Fourthly, the Trumper/Greenstein incident has been discussed ad infinitem. Simon does have a tendency to showboat and "play for the cameras" on occasion and I wish he didn't. It sounds like he was doing this here. If Simon's delay in raising was only 90 odd seconds that is fine, but showing his cards one by one was bad ettiquette. Let's just play poker and forget all the bullshit. The reaction to the incident has been overblown in the extreme. Greensteins has taken back some of his ridiculous allegations and I think it's all over now. Simon is a good bloke and a good player and I hope he doesn't let this furore affect his performance in the main event.

I am pleased to report that there finally is a real buzz at the Rio now as the main event is about to begin. I am feeling quite nervous already but looking forward to giving it my best shot. For anyone who isn't here and fancies a little wager here are my 3 to follow.

1. Garry Bush. I feel very strongly Bushy is going to go very deep this year. I don't think I've ever seen him so animated and focused. He hasn't played dice once on this trip (therefore isn't on tilt) and is cock a hoop at what has happened at the Rio thus far. Everything points to an excellent run.

2. Rob Hollink. I've always rated Rob's game but in the last 6 months he has been absolutely awesome. Winning Monte Carlo and finalising at the WPT championship. He has enough gamble to get chips early and enough wile to keep them.

3. Erik Seidel. Quite simply Mr Consistent. He seems to be always there at every last 3 tables and is an intimidating presence when he has a mountain of chips. Clearly at the top of his game right now (he won his 7th bracelet earlier this WSOP) he can go all the way.

Today for me it's a piss up watching the Hooters girls take on the Hendon Mob in a series of heads up matches then a quiet day tomorrow before playing on day 2.

It's really funny how whenever you ask someone which day they are playing on whatever the answer it's the day they were hoping for. I haven't heard anyone say "I'm playing on day 1 and I'm really pissed off about it."

Let battle commence.

A thorny problem

2005-07-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

So, I'm back in Vegas.

I managed to grab 14 hours sleep before playing the $3000 NL holdem yesterday.

I picked up a dream table draw. After playing with them for 4 hours there was only one I could honestly say had any semblance of a game. The rest were tight/passive and seemed genuinely scared of busting out.

I had built my stack up to 5,500 when the following hand came up.

Blinds were 100-200 and I raised to 700 in middle position with AQ. The sb didn't see my raise and thought everyone had passed to him. He attempted to raise to 600. The dealer informed him of my raise and he seemed very flustered. He didn't say raise when he put his 600 in so he had to complete my bet (he had 500 less than me prior to the hand). I really didn't know what to think. I didn't know whether he would have reraised me preflop so all I knew was he wanted to raise the bb. Hmmmm. So, we saw the flop heads up. It came AKQ rainbow. He checked and I bet 800. He now raised to 1800. Bollocks. He was certainly tight/passive but that didn't mean he had me beat. He had seen me be very aggressive and bet into virtually every pot I raised. With Ax he would probably assume he was in front and his raise suggested to me that he was keeping a couple of grand in case I had a real hand. I *could* have passed or called but I honestly thought I was in front so I moved allin. He beat me into the pot with KK. Ugh. It was so annoying because against this player although I might call a small reraise preflop I almost certainly don't double him up if he had indeed reraised. It wasn't quite the end of the story however. I managed to parlay my remaining 550 into 3000 when I picked up AK UTG. I limped. A new player to the table made it 700 to play and was called by the bb. I pushed in for about 2000 more. The raiser called with QJ! He hit a Jack on the flop and sent me scurrying to the rail.

I was really gutted. It was definitely my best chance of going deep into a comp thus far in the WSOP. On reflection I should just have mucked the AQ when he reraised. Even if I had the best hand I feel my +ev on this particular table was so big that passing was the correct move. Oh well, live and learn.

Why the WPT was wrong to ban deals at final tables..

2005-06-26T16:11:00.000-07:00

Well, there are a million reasons, the main one being it is the players money and it really is none of their business what we do with it...

But another reason became apparent when I was watching the WPT from Paris.

If the finalists didn't do a secret deal without telling the organisers I'm a Dutchman.

Tony G called a Surinder allin bet with J8. Then he did it again with J4. Later Surinder called with K6...Finally he called just looking at one card. That's the sort of behaviour you see in a £5 comp at Luton, not when you're playing for half a million Euros.

Clearly they did a deal, that is the only way the standard of play that night by two brilliant poker players can be explained. By pretending that no deal took place they made a mockery of the game. The solution? Bring the deals out in the open and tell the viewers. After all, deals have been a part of tournament poker since day 1, why try and deny their exsistence now?

In the Interests of Accuracy

2005-06-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said in a comment about the hand where I lost my chips in the $2000 PLHE:

"Fuck?

You called 2 potsized bets with 910 on the assumption you might be winning. Then got screwed. You started with trash and ended with trash.

Why is it that ur clever when you win with this hand but they are idiots for calling when you lose?"

I made a typo. I had 98 diamonds (not T9) and flopped bottom two pair.

However his point is valid that I called with trash and got screwed.

In defence, I often play hands like this in this way. What success I've had playing poker involves playing pots like this. I will not sit and wait for aces. That's the way it is.

Tidying Up

2005-06-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

Firstly, thanks to everyone for the kind words in response to the Vegas diary. I enjoyed writing them and hope everyone enjoyed reading them. I intend to return to Vegas on the 30th June for the last couple of weeks of the WSOP.

Someone asked if I was intending on selling some of myself in the big event. The answer is maybe. I honestly think I have got a pretty huge edge in the tournament and if I sold anything it would have to be at a premium to reflect this edge and the high expenses involved in playing in Vegas. However, 10 grand is 10 grand and I'm open to offers. If anyone wants to email me to discuss this my address is thehawk67@hotmail.com.

Final Profit/loss for the first trip to Vegas was:

Tournaments = -$8500
Super sats = -$1685
One Tables = +$5855
Last Chance = -$450
HU Online = +$9810
OtherOnline = -$5100
Blackjack = +$175

Virtually exactly level on the trip. Not too bad but only due to compiling a pretty remarkable 31-10 record in heads up matches on 'Stars while I was in Vegas. As usal I did my bollocks on Super satellites, I don't know why I bother playing them, they go against my natural instinct of trying to win all the chips in play. I think I will sack them in the future. The single table sats at the Rio are plentiful and very, very soft at all levels from $55 to $1060. My advice to anyone going would be to play as many single tables as possible.

The golf selections on Sunday were pretty fucking crap. Katharine had a small bet on them and half way through the play asked how our guys were doing.

"Awfully" says I.

"Why did we back them?" she reasonably asks.

"Because they were value"

"I understand value. They are bets you've got to have that always lose."

Fair comment.

So, we ended the NFL season 50pts up, but gave away 30pts on two nobody golfers.

The other bets recommended ended up like this:

5pts E/W Ashley Alterman for the Poker Million. The useless bugger did no good.

100pts WBA to finish above Palace. Somehow they made it despite being tailed off at Christmas. Heart stopping stuff on the final day for sure.

10pts Plymouth and Bournemouth to be promoted from their respective divisions. The less said about Plymouth the better but how Bournemouth missed the playoffs is a total mystery. They failed to win any of their last 7 home matches and traditionally they are very strong at Dean Court. Bastards.

100pts Wigan to win the Championship. I maybe like King Canute but I still think Wigan were the best team in the division. But they didn't prove it on the pitch and I did my bollocks. Typical.

10pts buy field Championship Index, 20pts sell West Ham Points. These are the two bets which really annoyed me. Preston should have come 4th and we would have scooped an 80pt profit. On the last game of the season they played Derby and rested several players. Derby needed to win to secure a playoff place. Result Derby won 3-1 and Preston dropped to 5th. Preston proved to be better than Derby by beating them in the playoffs. Frustrating. But even worse was West Ham's late run of form. With 6 weeks left in the season they looked like finishing with somewhere in the mid 60's. But they conjured up a run to the playoffs and ultimately into the Premiership. Believe me, they are coming straight back down unless they spend alot of wonga.

How did we finish? All those bets made 30pts meaning the final total stood at exactly at the same level it was after the NFL season. Plus 50pts! Not too bad.

A Couple of Quick Bets...

2005-06-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

I am aware that I haven't sorted out the profit/loss for the football season yet. I will rectify this soon.

To be going on with, a couple of bets in the US Open really appeal.

Golfers just aren't going to come off the pace tomorrow. Only two players bettered par today, and all week breaking 70 has been very difficult.

The course is so tricky I couldn't back Goosen to hold on at around 1/2... And unless Tiger comes up with something really special noone is going to come from 5 back or more to win.

I think Olin Browne and Jason Gore, who have both been very steady all week have a great chance and are definitely each way value. If either scores a 70, it could well be good enough to win and as much as a 73 could lead to a top 3 finish.

10 pts each way Browne 25/1 (Totesport 1,2,3 1/4)
5 pts each way Gore 25/1 (VCBet 1,2,3 1/5)

Vegas Diary - The Final Chapter - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2005-06-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

Day 5 - $2000 NLHE - The Bad

This was the event I was really looking forward to. I thought everything was in my favour. I was well rested, the deep pockets didn't have unlimited bullets for rebuys, we had a slow structure and loads of dead money.

So, why I did play so terribly?

I had a dream start. I flopped a nut flush and got paid handsomely. I cracked aces. I flopped a set. Bloody hell, they were giving me chips right, left and centre before the break. I reached the first break with 8500 in chips. The average was probably about 3500. Surely I was set for a good run.

No.

I moved to new table. A geezer had about 15000 already. It soon became clear how he had got them. He must have reraised over 50% of raisers. Literally. I have never seen anything like it. I hunkered down and waited for him to double me up.

But, for some reason, despite a great stack, I didn't show any patience. What a wanker I am sometimes. If I waited 2 levels I surely would have been given a golden opportunity on a plate. But, I didn't. He raised at the 100-200 level to 800. I called with 77. Fair enough. Flop came J32. He bet 2000. I called????? i thought this would scare him. Did it fuck. The turn came 9 and he simply moved in. Perhaps I should have called. But, I chickened out and passed leaving over 30% of my chips.

Then I proceeded to bluff away most of the rest of my chips in a pot I should have never been involved in.

I was sick by the time I was finally put out of my misery.

Three observations sprung to mind after the tournament:

1. Thank god the tournament is not in a casino. If it had been I was so tilty on getting knocked out, I would undoubtedly have done my bollocks on the bones straight away.

2. The excuse for pissing my chips away? I guess I was scared someone else would get the lunatics chips. It is not a valid excuse, but an excuse nonetheless.

3. John Juanda was on the table where I get knocked out. He impressed me greatly. He was very short stacked when I arrived and hung around for ages waiting for the right spot to get his chips in. He didn't get a double up, but he gave himself every chance, unlike many of the "big names" who if they haven't got a biog stack with 2 levels just throw their chips and look forward until the next event.

Day 6 - The Good.

Virtually a day off from poker.

Managed to split a one table satellite before going for a bbq at the house Asher and Dee Derei had rented.

It was a very enjoyable afternoon/evening.

The party was to celebrate Tomer Benvenisti's (who finished 5th in the WSOP main event 2 years ago and is a great guy) birthday.

The other guests included Bad Beat Channing, Ben Akiva, David Levi and Amir Vahedi + his brother.

If you have seen Amir on tv, the image he portrays seems very close to9 the real Amir. He is a larger than life character and has a ton of funny stories and anecdotes.

I drank altogther too many Budweisers and had many a laugh. A thoroughly enjoyable occasion.

Day 7 - $2000 PLHE - The Ugly

I don't enjoy pot limit as much as no limit. I enjoy having the ultimate weapon of the allin push (Bushy reckons it's because I'm not good enough to make decisions after the flop...he is probably right)

But, here I played probably the best I've played all trip.

I was focussed and relaxed. I picked my spots perfectly. I never put my chips ion danger and my chips stack rose slowly despite having KK twice and seeing an ace flop both times.

I was moved tables with the blinds 100-200. I had approximately 4000 in chips which was about average.

I was positioned one off the button on my first hand at the new table.

A couple of limpers before me, so naturally I limped with T9 diamonds.

The sb now proceeded to raise the pot (I found the vast majority of yanks simply bet the pot when raising...very strange). One caller, so with position I made a dubious call (but one I almost always make). Flop comes J98 with two hearts. The sb bets the pot. I have no read on the guy, except that this is a very scary flop for any holding. I *think* I'm winning but have no way of being sure. I decide to call and see what develops on the turn. The ace of diamonds peels off. He checks. Hmmmm. Now it really looks like he's got KK or QQ. If he has any hand that beats me he must bet here. A free card is just too dangerous. So I push in with a virtual pot size bet. He goes into the tank. Finally he pipes up "I need to get lucky" and calls showing KQ hearts. He is taking 2-1 about a near 4-1 shot with 10 clear outs.

River is 2hearts. Exit Camel.

Fuck.

Vegas Diary III - Avoiding the Madness

2005-06-10T05:44:00.000-07:00

Day 3

$1000 NLHE with rebuys.

Those two little words "with rebuys" almost stopped me playing this event. All those sponsored players and stinking rich dot com zillionaires have such an advantage in an event like this as they try to buy a bracelet by having 276 rebuys each. I heard a story that David Williams actually played his first few hands blind in order to get some action. How sick is that at a grand a pop?

But I'm a sicko (copyrite W Purle) and I'm only here for 9 days so I wasn't going to miss the party. I decided to limit myself to 2 rebuys however. (What price that went out of the window after a couple of bad beats?)

I actually found a pretty sane starting table. Kathy Liebert and David Levi were the only "names" there but whiule both were prepared to gamble dring the rebuys niether played recklessly. I actually started the tournament on fire. I was on the bb for the first hand and proceeded to flop the stone cold nuts in 3 of the first four hands. J8 (Flop 79T); KT (Flop KKT) and J9 (Flop 8TQ). Obviously I was rueful I wasn't on a table with Negreanu, Ivey or Lindgren then... I probably would have quintupled my chips in the right spot. But I moved from 1000 to 2300 so I couldn't be unhappy.

I played unbeleieveably tight for the rebuy period thereafter. I managed to double up via Ms Liebert with AA v TT and was sitting very comfortably with 4500.

Barny Boatman joined our table shortly before the end of the rebuys and I managed to piss him off. Barny was near the button when a limpathon occurred. About 5 players called the $50 bb and Barny proceeded to raise it up quite substantially getting one caller. The flop came rags, and it was checked through the streets. Barny showed 63 spades and won the pot with a lowly pair of threes.

I couldn't resist sticking my oar in: "You can tell he's not paying his own rebuys, raising with that filth". I knew full well he was just making a move to try and pick up the 350 in dead money in the pot and was just teasing, but Barny seemed to get the hump anyway. Oh well.

Just before the end of the rebuys I fucked up. Not badly, but it was a fuck up nonetheless. I had approaching 5000 when the nearest thing to a maniac on my table raised my blind. He made 200 to go and I called with 88. The flop came J52. I checked and he bet 500 leaving himself with about 900. I set him in, reasoning he was just trying to buy chips. Uh oh, he had the boots and I was back down to 3000. I was more than comfortable with 5000 so why did I bother gambling? Because I'm a sicko? Probably.

Frustrated with myself I took one of the available 2 addons to end the rebuys with 4000. Not bad, but it should have better.

Immediately on returning from the break my table was broken and I moved into a fascinating spot. Devilfish was there with a mountain of chips, as were John Law, my nieghbour from Teesside and Paul Leckey. Two yanks of interest were there too
: John Murphy, the very young geezer who played so well in the main event last year, leading for much of the way until he got busted by a very questionable call from Matt Dean in about 14th. The other guy I didn't recpognise but he introduced himself in a very whiny voice with this exchange after seeing my camel I protect my cards with:

"Are you the Camel from Pokerstars?"

"It depends who's asking"

"I'm Stevebets, you play me heads up matches alot"

"Oh right, hello"

"Why do you trash talk me and abuse me?"

Now this was complete bollocks. If I did trash talk him, it was because he is a whinging prat who moans all the fucking time when he loses. But I have never, in my recollection trash talked to him, even though he probably deserves it.

"I never have."

Devilfish came to the rescue and said something like "I know Keith and he's a good kid, he wouldn't abuse anyone" Ha ha.

"It must have been someone else using your account then".

Righty ho.

Let's get on with the game.

I stood still for about 30 minutes when the key hand came up.

With blinds of 50-100 I raised to 350 Under the gun with AQ.

Five callers!

John Murphy in the bb now moved in for 2100 more.

Hmmm. The easy play here is to pass, but from having seen Murphy in action last year and in the 30 minutes I had been at his table I *knew* he was capable of making this move with a huge range of holdings, many of which were huge underdog to AQ.

I pushed in to protect my hand from any other callers.

Murphy had TT and won the race.

Bollocks.

I hung around for another hour trying to find a spot, and eventually got allin with 22 against Devilfish's A7. He turned an ace.

C'est le vie.

A bit pissed off I mooched around for the rest of the day. Played a couple of single table satellites. The standard in these has been unbelieveably weak. If I was dedicated I would put some hours in and try and win my way into these expensive tournaments, maybe I will do so later in the week.

I watched a bit of the $2500 short handed final. Two brits made th big dance. Dave Barnes, who I gave a big up to in Card Player the other month. Great to see him take no shit from the Yanks and score a nioce payday. And Harry Demetriou who played some superb poker until getting chinned heads up. Nothing to be ashamed about Harry, it was a stunning performance, the bracelet will come soon.

11pm saw me have another go at the late night tournament. I don't know why I bothered. I knew I was still a bit tilty still. I made a move after 10 minutes with Q3, as you do, and walked into a set oif nines, as you do also.

Day 4

Decided to have a day off poker except for the customary hour of heads up on 'Stars. The run went on (I know, get it quietly) I won all 6 heads up matches I played and nicked $4200 less the juice.

Played golf with Andy Church (who won the big event at the Vic at the last festival) and an American friend of ours, Rich.

Rich used to be an odds maker for a casino sports book and has been around Vegas poker for over 30 years. He told us some fantastic tales of Jack Strauss, Stu Ungar and Doyle Brunson, but I am going to keep them for Cardplayer! Sorry.

Anyways, we played a 12 hole par 3 course at Angel Park. I hadn't played golf for a couple of years and was pretty rusty, but I managed to wangle a favourable handicap and nicked $50. Woo hoo.

A very enjoyable day.

I intended on going to the Rio to buy in for the $2000 no limit tomorrow, but I was so knackered I fell straight into bed at 5pm and slept solid for 12 hours.

Let's hop there isn't an enormous queue to buyin this morning.

Vegas Diary Part Deux

2005-06-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Day 2

Down to business. $2500 Short handed (6 per table) No limit Hold'em.

Now, when discussing this event with "Bad Beat" Channing he made a very good point.

Seemingly every player had been strutting round the Rio saying: "Yep, this short handed game is the one I've really been looking forward to. It will really suit me as I'm so aggressive." We had not heard anyone saying "I'm not playing this event, I'm a rock and much prefer the 11 handed game".

I rarely make a battle plan before I start a tournament. It is too dependant on factors such as who the other players on my table are, whetrher I get off to a fast start, whether I'm on tilt or not and how many beers I've consumed.

But, on Tuesday I decided if everyone was going to play like Gus Hansen on speed I would try and do the opposite. We were given alot of chips in proportion to the starting blinds ($2500 and $25/$25 respectively) so the plan I hatched was nto sit back and try and do some serious trapping.

In order for the master to be successful it needed a couple of loose cannons on my right. And there was! 2 Septic Tank "uber pro's" (copyrite N Channing) who insisted on raising every pot. Now, all I had to do was find a hand to catch them with...

I did get the boots early but succeeded in winning in winning a very tiny pot as I slow played them and it came a very scary board and it went check check through the later streets.

Then just before the first break my opportunity arose. Bottle blond Yank makes it 200 to go on the button (blinds now 25-50) I call on the sb with AJ. Flop comes: J72. I check (obviously) and he fires out 400. Call. Turn card is a 4. I check raise him all in. He has to call about 1400 into a 3 grand pot. He does without blinking his eyes and shows 78. And obviously he hits. Wanker.

Andy Black, the poker player turned monk from that TV prog a few years ago, was on my left. He played absolutely beautifully and had a wagon load of chips by the time I exited. Really nice bloke, I was funking for him to go deep in the event.

I was decidedly tiltyafter being knocked out so I decided to retire to my room for a kip. Well, the laptop obviously was positioned in the way of my kingsize and I settled down for a couple of hours of PokerStars action.

There must be some deep psychological reason for the fact I nearly always win on Stars when I'm away from home. (If that doesn't bokk myself, nothing will!).

If playing 15 heads up matches sounds sad, it's because it probably is, but in my defence 90% of my matches are completed in level 1 so it only took about 3 hours to compile a record of 5-0 in $210's, 7-2 in $520's and 1-0 in $210 stud hilo's. Don't ask me why I played a stud hilo heads up match. I can't answer you. I promise I will never play another one so I will be able say with complete certainty that like baccarat (also 1 bet, 1 win about 15 years ago) I am ahead lifetime at the game. So, there.

I was absolutely knackered after these travails so I did the sensible thing: got a taxi back to the Rio for the $225 late night tournament. I found a flyer with 10 reasons why you should play this event. After all the boring reasons, a cheap way of winning a WSOP event, manageable buyin, fast structure etc the last reason made me giggle. They said, the event fiunishes so late, it will be very unlikely anyone you owe money to will be around to see the conclusion if you cop!

My heart wasn't really in it, and I busted out in level 3.

I watched a bit of the omaha hilo final. I hate watching poker at the best of times but this must be the most boring spectator event of all. The action is totally inpenetrable. I gave Jeff Duvall a bit of vocal support along with a couple of other diehards: Gary Jones and Rory Liffey. But, I couldn't keep my eyes open and left them 4 handed with Jeff in second place. He eventually came 3rd for a $77 grand payday. A great result for a good guy.

Vegas Diary Part 1

2005-06-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

Day 0 (Sunday 5th June)

It's safe to say that this was thge most unpleasant flight I've ever endured. The turbulance was awful. Coming into land was like riding a big dipper. I tasted the contents of my stomach at least 10 times. Not nice.

I could have coped with that but the geezer next to me kept digging his bloody elbow in my ribs. I must have told him 5 times but he kept doing it. Tosser.

But worst of all, I was sat slap, bang in the middle of a wedding party of about 50. And the blokes in this group seemed intent on drinking the plane dry. There was an atmosphere of violence for the final 6 hours of the journey. I was sure it was going to kick off, but somehow the stewardesses kept the peace and we made it without any trouble. But, it was more like a Saturday night in Blackpool than a sedate snooze to Vegas.

It was very much the B team of British poker players making the trip on my flight. The first eleven: Sunar, Devilfish, Hendon Mob, Colclough, Kabbaj and Citrone were already there for the first events.

The stragglers on my flight were Bruce Atkinson, Ali Sharkeshik, Allan Rutter and a couple of geezers from Luton who's names escape me. I doubt whether the B's will be troubling the engravers with spelling our names on a nice gold bracelet... But who knows eh?

The flight was 90 minutes late arriving, but I worked out if I sped through all the airport palarva and checked in at the Mirage quickly I would just make the 11.30pm (GMT) super for a WSOP main event seat on 'Stars.

Everything went extremely smoothly and I got to my room with 40 minutes to spare. Just time for a relaxing bath before 6 hours (hopefully) of poker.

Bah! What a dickhead I am. When I got the laptop fired up at about 11.20 and logged onto Stars I discovered the satellite started at 11pm. If I had forsaken the bath I would have made it comfortably. Oh well, I went 2-0 in $500 heads up matches before retiring to bed.

I don't think I should add my online play to my weeks profit/loss (unless I do really badly live...when I might have to for appearances sakes!)

Day 1

So, I slept for about 14 hours straight which suggests that playing the super would have been a complete waste of money. But as I am totally crap at super satellites it would probably have been a wankaway-a-monkey-fest anyways.

So, with heart thumping a little more than usual I got a taxi to the Rio for my first sight of the 2005 World Series of Poker.

The walk from front door to convention centre is bloody miles. You definitely need hiking boots and there should be feeding stations on the way like at the London Marathon. Jac Arama has got the right idea. He invested $200 on a motorised bike to scoot around on. Excellent value.

I finally arrived breathless and enthusiastic. The playing area is just amazing. 200 tables! A hive of poker playing. But, I soon realised something is missing. Although it certainly seems to be well run, (some of the dealers I've encountered have been a bit below what I expect from the WSOP) the "buzz" just doesn't seem the same as at Binions. There certainly isn't such a great Euro comraderie as there is no base for sorties. Whatever time of day or night you staggered into the 'Shoe you could guarantee there would be a couple of euros ready to share war stories and a beer at the bar. As there isn't a bar within a mile of the Rio playing area this just ain't gonna happen this year I fear.

But, I am prepared to give the place a chance. The playing area is alot more comfortable the Binions and there is much better facilities for players and spectators alike.

And with the monster fields we have seen so far, the value of these tournies is immense.

I tipped my toe in gently. I played a one table sat (managed to come second and nick a $500 lammer).

Then I played the afternoon super. The standard of play was dreadful. But, unfortunately my play was worse than most and I wanked away a great chip stack. And failed to win a seat miserably.

I was a bit knackered so refrained to play again...showing admirable restraint, dontcha think?

I mingled a bit, Said hello to some old friends, and shared dinner with Bad Beat Channing and Jeff Duvall who was flying in the £1500 hilo omaha comp. All very enjoyable.

Thankyou

2005-03-07T06:42:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say a quick word of thanks for all the messages, emails and text messages I have received wishing my father well. They really mean alot.

Especially poignant was the reprinting of Dylan Thomas's poem "Do not go gentle into that good night". My Dad had a massive heart attack last week and his Doctor said it's a miracle he's still with us.

He is still extremely poorly but he is fighting (and raging) very hard.

We have no idea what the outcome will be, but the fight itself is cathartic for both him and us.

I love him very much.

No Updates For the Foreseeable Future

2005-03-02T06:18:00.000-08:00

Going down south for a while for a family emergency so I won't be updating this shit for a while.

Poker is fucking irrelevant.

Delightful Deauville

2005-02-23T04:39:00.000-08:00

We flew to Paris last weekend with the intention of playing the EPT event at Deauville for which I won a seat on Stars.

Handily there was a juicy 500E short handed NLHE tournament at the Aviation on the Sunday which would serve as an appetizer.

Unfortunately I drew a seat next to the best short handed player in Europe, Devilfish. Fortunately I declined his offer of a last longer bet, but that was the only thing I did right in the event. The 'Fish treated the other players on his table to an absolute clinic of how to play short handed no limit. He amassed a huge stack of chips without ever seemingly putting a large proportion of them on offer. I finally took a stand against him with a suited ace only to find him with AK. End of me. I must admit I was very shocked the next morning to discover he didn't make the final. It just goes to prove doesn't it? (I'm not sure what it goes to prove, but it definitely proves something!)

Monday was Valentines day. Katharine and I did a few of the touristy things in Paris we hadn't done before, namely Notre Dame and the Pompidou Centre. All very romantic. One question though, does anyone know how to hail a taxi in Paris? We were shouting and hooting and waving our arms like maniacs only to be soundly ignored. Does the little light being on denote the taxi is available or not?

Deauville is alot of things, but easy to get to isn't one of them. Tuesday was travelling day. There are only about 3 trains a day from Paris so we had to make sure we caught the noon train or face a 5 hour wait. Other players chose the Ferry followed by a drive through Normandy. I'm told one couple even chose the vagaries of the French bus system.

We were staying at the Normandy hotel which is linked to the Casino Barriere by a tunnel. I cannot deny it is a *very* expensive place to stay, but I honestly think the service was the best I've encountered. When we had the "Do Not Disturb" sign up, not only did they not bother us, a shutter was rolled down over our windows to prevent light coming in! One day I retired to my room during the dinner break to have a shower and a change of clothes. When I returned a few hours later my clothes had been folded up and put away! It was like having a butler for a week.

The restaurants and facilities were excellent too. All in all the hotel cannot be recommended highly enough.

The town of Deauville is also a delight. It is so beautiful it could almost be a toy village. Countless interesting bars and restaurants. Plus two racecourses and a high class golf course. And the walk by the seafront was just stunning. It was so refreshing to play a big tournament away from a big city. I would guess the town does get very crowded in the summer, but perhpas if you could sneak a weekend in mid april, it would definitely be a break worth having.

Onto the poker. I won't dwell too long on this as Mr Anon hopes not "oh god is this going to be a 'i have just blown another massive stack deep in a tourny' story??". Basically I played great for 1.99 days and awfully in the last 5 minutes of day 2. Then I lost 2 coin flips on day 3 and finished 10th. No regrets. Congrats to my mate the Cobra for finishing 6th, an incredible performance considering the pressure he was under.

The tournament like everything else in Deauville was just about perfect. A lovely quiet, elegant room was dedicated to the event. Excellent dealers and tournament staff. A structure that couldn't be faulted in any way. I suppose a report from me wouldn't be complete without at least one gripe. So here goes. 3% of the prize pool was kept for the staff. Fair enough. But, when I went to the pay out window I was pushed politely towards the tip box and "expected" to leave something. Because I thought the event was so good I did leave another couple of % of my win, but I feel 3% is usually more than enough and anything extra should be purely voluntary.

All in all a wonderful week. I honestly don't think I've enjoyed a week's poker more. Met some great people (including Luckyblind who played out of his skin in the big event and is a top bloke) had fun, and won some money. What more can I ask?

The Poker Scribes

2005-02-22T17:23:00.000-08:00

I was pretty critical of Mike Paulle and Max Shapiro the other day.

But, they are far from the only tournament reporters on the block.

Tony "tikay" Kendall is rightly becoming well known over at blondepoker for his engaging takes on the European poker scene.

But, two others have made their mark recently too. Rolf Slotboom is writing reports for pokerpages and I must confess I was suprised how good they were. Check them out next time there's a major European event.

But, really the new king of tournament reporting is Brad "Otis" Willis who reports on PokerStars sponsored events here.

He gives a real flavour of the events and has taken tournament reporting to a new level. Next time PokerStars have an event, don't go anywhere else for your updates.

Normal Service Will be Resumed Shortly...

2005-02-18T13:25:00.000-08:00

The internet connection is crap here in Deauville... but it's the only downer on a wonderful town and tournament.

I will furnish the full story when I return to Blighty on Monday(ish).

Who Rattled Szeremeta's Cage?

2005-02-12T05:41:00.000-08:00

This month's information packed and fun filled issue of Poker Europa includes an unprovoked and personal attack on me by the editor Nic Szeremeta.

The accusations are so risible as to not really worth responding to. But I will.

Firstly he attacks my thoughts on the PokerStars tsunamui relief appeal. Fair enough I suppose, but he neglects to mention my post of January 25th "A Good Point, Well Made..." where I changed my view for the final time to being generally supportive of the appeal. Since when has questioning motives of a big company been a crime anyway?

Then the only piece of the srticle which made me genuinely angry. He says I pledged $00,000 out of my win at Luton to tsunami relief. What business is it of his or anyone else whether I donated? If and how much I gave is a matter for me and my conscience. Would he would broadcast exactly how much he gave to charity if he won a big tournament? (A moot point I know, seeing as it's impossible he wins one). You have to question the motives of a famous person when they donate a large amount of money to charity and then let the media know all the details. In the words of Smashy and Nicey do they "do alot of work for charidee..."?

Finally, perhaps the most ridiculous part of the attack. He has often criticised the fact I and others dwell on the negative and don't boost poker. So, I write a wholly supportive piece about Marcel Luske saying what a great guy he is and he picks out five words "He's not a great player" and prints them. My view of his playing ability s purely subjective and means nothing.

Perhaps Mr Szeremeta should practice what he preaches and not dwell on the negative.

Hats off to Gary Neville

2005-02-10T08:07:00.000-08:00

(There's a title of a post I never thought I'd make)

Neville's words after the England v Holland friendly about the motives of Nike in supporting football's anti racism campaign were admirable to say the least.

The fact Nike make Man Utd's shirts and his criticism might lead to Neville being victimised in the pocket make his stand all the more impressive.

The full story is here

At the Risk of Annoying Big Dave D...

2005-02-10T04:01:00.000-08:00

....because I know he hates the mindless cheering on of players in big finals when the writer has no financial interest. He calls it "Doyles Disease" I believe..

But, in the final of the PPT in Los Angeles is a guy who epitomises the phrase "good bloke", who hasn't had the best rub of the green for the last couple of years and has done more from me than I can over hope to repay.

So, just this once. I think I'm justified in saying COME ON ASHER MY SON!!!!!!!!

I had to laugh...

2005-02-08T14:34:00.000-08:00

Just tuned into Challenge tv for the Ultimate Poker Challenge.

I know it's the announcer's job to hype up the forthcoming programme but when she described this as "The World's best poker players doing battle for a huge first prize" I was more than a little amused to see that 6 of the seven contestants were: Steve Simmons, Michael Ross, Brain Nadell, Renee Wexler, Ken James and Mike Turner (who dey?) and they were playing for a first prize of wait for it.... $8000!

Talk about, filler tv!

Still, funny to see all this hoopla for a comp where the prize money is less than a £100 event at Luton!

A Quick Zip Around the Sites

2005-02-07T08:11:00.000-08:00

I had an inexorable urge yesterday to go to www.pokerfaces.com. Don't ask me why. It was inexorable.

Anyway, I was confronted by the same message which was there when I last looked about a year ago: "Our new site is under construction and will be appearing here very shortly". Exactly how shortly is "very shortly"? I mean, this is ridiculous, it's taking them more time to launch than it does for Jac Arama to turn over his cards when he's got the winning hand! At least it must be worth the wait, if it has taken this long to construct it's clearly going to be something special. Or maybe not.

Over at the Hendonmob all the talk is of Mark Napolitano of pokerpages taking the Mob to court over alleged theft of poker tournament results information. Frankly, I am surprised Mr Napolitano has got the time to mess about with court matters, after his starring appearance in the Pokerpages calender I would have thought he would be snowed under with modelling contracts. Anyway, I am no legal eagle but I'm not quite sure how the results of poker tournaments can belong to someone. Let's take a hypothetical tournament at the Vic which is won by Jim Britton (I told you it was hypothetical). How can the fact he won the event be "owned" by pokerpages or anyone else? Surely once the result is known the information is in the public domain it is owned by everyone. When QPR beat Man Utd 4-1 at Old Trafford a couple of years ago who owned that info? Was it the teams who provided the result? Was it the Premier League? Was it whichever news agency who you gathered this glorious information from? Or does everyone own it?

The legal action certainly smacks of sour grapes. Pokerpages had all this information at their fingertips for years and never did anything with it. The Mob got their fingers out and turned the data into a valuable and excellent resource. It is certainly a shame the user will be denied using the Mob's database in the future. Let's hope some agreement can be thrashed out and everything will return to how it was.

Maybe I'm not impartial but I believe Cardplyer.com is not nearly as bad as some people (well, Big Dave D in particular) reckon. Granted Hellmuth's column is usually pure drivel and Sexton's piece often isn't much better. And the less I say about Tom McEvoy the better. But, Daniel Negreanu's articles are without exception fascinating. Roy Cooke might be one of the most insightful thinkers on limit hold'em. I am also a fan of Ciaffone and Brier while keller shows promise. Allyn Shulman might not write to everyones tastes but her feature on Gus Hansen this week is excellent.

There are a couple of new kids on the poker websites block. I am not sure if Dave "The Queen Mother of Poker" Colclough knew what he was getting into when he secured the services of Tony Kendall for his new website www.blondepoker.com. Blondepoker has been set to comprehensively cover the uk and european poker scene. DC is notoriously laid back and tikay is, well, decidedly not. The guy writes great tournament reports and profiles and will certainly be an asset to the site. Tikay is a lovely bloke but I certainly wouldn't want to work with such a workaholic. He will want everything to be 100% right from day 1 and while that is admirable, poker players in general aren't so hassled by details. I hope it works out for them and early signs are certainly positive. Www.best-hand.com is a new magazine style site with lots of intersting stuff and the best odds calculator I have seen. The only criticisms I would have is the site is pretty hard to navigate and the online poker tournament directory is nowhere near extensive enough. Still both sites are well worth checking out.

However, one site which certainly isn't worth checking out is ukpoker.com. It looks like Mark Strahan has totally given up on the site. A grand total of 5 new threads were started on the site's forum in the whole of January. And each and every one was spam!

I'm sure nearly everyone who reads my nonsense also reads www.pokerbastard.blogspot. But if you don't I urge you to check out his post "From The Mailbag". It's not really the post which is worth reading, it is the comments (29 so far and counting). The early parts of the thread involve DY trying to claim intellectual ownership of his initials and various people arguing this point. And later on it becomes a surreal debate on the pros and cons of professional poker play. There is a list of pro players and my name is surreally sandwiched between Stewart Reuben, Donn O'Dea, Surinder Sunar and Ben Roberts. If I had 10% of the money or ability of any of these guys I would be happy. In fact the whole thread is surreal. In the words of the bastard himself "You couldn't make it up."

Crikey! People Actually Read My Tosh. (Here's the proof..)

2005-02-02T08:37:00.000-08:00

A couple of months ago I wrote something about PokerStars. The next day I received an email from them about my post.

Now, today on Pokerpages Mike Paulle reprints part of my critical post about him on his blog. He hopes "maybe we can let this thing go" after printing some of the reponses (with highly satirical and rib tickling funny editorial notes attached) to his original article.

What he doesn't do is apologise to Mr Stolzmann for the ridiculous and damaging comments he made in his original post.

Meanwhile, I guess if I am ever lucky enough to be in the final stages of a tournament where Mr Paulle is reporting it will be a pretty safe bet that he will not be too complementary of either me or my play...

Brief Copenhagen Trip Report

2005-02-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

Pluses:
Very nice city, people friendly and lots of interesting stuff to see and do.
Main tournament very well organised with a good structure.
Hotel better than average and fairly priced.
Local players were eager and welcoming.

Minuses:
Copenhagen is the most expenisve city I've ever visted. We went to a bar in the city and two small beers cost over £8!
The supporting (non EPT) poker tournaments were complete farces.
The rake on cash games was ridiculously high.
In the casino all winning bets are taxed! if you have 100krone on a blackjack hand which wins you get paid 95! Makes it impossible to win.
Dealers were poor. I accept they were new to dealing poker, but on a couple of occassions I tried to help when they had a problem and was basically told to shut up.
I played badly in the EPT event.
Standard of service in restaurants and bars was very low. Possibly the worst I've ever encountered.

Conclusion:
Although I enjoyed my three days in Denmark, sadly I doubt very much if I'll ever return.

A-Paulle-ing (excuse the pun please)

2005-01-31T13:25:00.000-08:00

Mike Paulle is without doubt the worst tournament reporter in the business. He is far worse than the abysmal Max Shapiro.

But Paulle has sunk to new depths with his latest article:

http://www.pokerpages.com/blog/index.php?itemid=119

In short he critices the winner of the WPO at Tunica, John Stolzmann, for "only" leaving a $500 tip when 3% of the prizepool was kept as a player toke already!

Here is a taste of the nonsense he writes:

"'Did he do it on purpose, or didn't he know any better?'

That was the question asked, most frequently, after the WPT winner John Stolzmann left only $500 as a tip for the dealers on a win of $1.5 million"

and

"I sense that most players don't have a great deal of sympathy for miserly dealer tokes. I don't either. However, when someone deviates so far from the norm, the gap itself becomes news".

The question has to be asked what business is it of Paulle's how much Stolzmann left on top of the 3%? And even if it is his business, it certainly isn't his place to criticise it.

My advice is to read ths article quickly. I would guess Pokerpages wouldn't leave such rubbish on their site for long...

A Grand Well Spent....

2005-01-27T07:07:00.000-08:00

The final of the £250 PLHE at Luton was only done and dusted with lucre all paid out at about 6.30pm on Saturday. I was exhausted already and the Main Event was due to start at 8. I was humming and hawing a bit as to whether to play. I was knackered but it was the big event and I was officially "in form". As I was wandering about, I spotted John Duthie and Simon Eastwood (Am I the only one who still calls him Clint from Reading days?), they were just off to the Chinese for a spot of dinner and invited me to come.

A couple of Buds, a Thai curry and some good company did wonders for my constitution and banished any doubts that I wasn't up to another long slog.

When I took my seat I knew I'd made the right decision. I had a very agreeable table with Jon Shoreman (a guy I like immensely), Francis Rohan, Bad Girl Pham, Tikay, Jon Cooke and Julian Thew all ready for action. This was a difficult table for sure, but I knew whatever happened I would enjoy myself as they are all prepared to give and take a bit of table banter. I may be mad, but I would rather play on a table with Rokach, Colclough, Maxfield and Alterman than a table packed with tossers with a tenth of the ability who are going to argue, be rude to other players and dealers and generally make life unpleasant.

The "hand" came up very early. My recollection of it is slightly different to tikays (he has given his full sp in a report on Blondepoker.com). Here is what happened as I remember it: It was the first level and we had been playing about 20 minutes. I had made a nice start and had moved to about 12,000 and led the table. Skalie (I'm sorry, I don't know the guy's name) limped in early position. I limped on the button with JT, Jon Cooke made up the BB and Julian checked in the BB. 200 in the pot. The flop came over KQ9. Yum yum. Jon and Julian checked. Skalie had all his chips in his hands. He picked out a chip and put it in the pot. It was 5000. It took about 2 seconds before he grabbed it back. Jon Cooke immediately thought it was a moody to try and get action on his hand (He flopped top two pair). I am not so sure. I tend to think it was a genuine mistake. But I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to see a ruling before I made any action. I think mistake or not the correct ruling was for the bet to stand, but clearly as I had a massive vested interest it was not my place to comment. It's like if you are dealt AA and someone shouts "misdeal!". It is pointless trying to argue against it, because you are going to give away the strength of your hand and not going to get any action anyways. It's best to let nature take its course. As soon as it was decided the bet stood the only thought in my head was to protect my hand. There was a flush draw possible and I didn't want to price anyone into calling what was clearly going to be a huge pot. So, I moved the lot in. I can't claim I did it quickly to try and get action, I am not that clever. I just knew once my bet was in the arguments over whethers Skalie's bet stood or not were finished. Skalie then said, "I can't pass now" ,put his remaining 3000 in and turned his cards over. But, Julian hadn't passed yet! Thewy obviously thinks I'm cleverer than I am because he thought I was making a move to exploit Skalie's error. He had flopped two pair as well! But as he had seen Skalie's king, he let desrection be the better part of valour and folded. My hand held up and I had over 20,000 in chips.

Skalie like a real gentleman throughout this episode. He made the mistake and was man enough to take the consequences. I remember once in the Bellagio during a big tournament I had drunk a few beers (surprise, surprise) and made a big raise in a pot. Because of my state of inebriation I hadn't noticed another guy had already moved allin. Now I either had to call his allin bet or forfeit my chips that I raised with. It was a shitty situation but my fault totally for not noticing someones allin bet. A similar situation here I think.

I did feel bad for the guy. Especially as when I went searching for him to buy a pint and say something along the lines of "Them's the breaks" or something he told me he enjoyed reading my stuff on HM and in Card Player and was really looking forward to playing poker with me. I nearly choked up!

Back to the comp, everything went super smoothly. I had AA against Jon's KK and won another monster pot. I had appraching 40k when the average was about 12. Just for Withnail's benefit I did get lucky quite a few times in the middle stages of the tournament. I busted a set of 4's on a flop of K74 after I had raised with 78s and flopped a pair and a flush draw. I knocked Clint out with 99 v TT. David Wahl went the same way with KJ v my 78. But crucially in none of these pots was I commiting a big proportion of my chips. Absultely maximum I was risking was 20% and I think once I was involved each occassion was a clear call. Yes, I got lucky. But, I had so many chips I was in position to gamble.

I even made my first Royal Flush for about 10 years early on day 2 against Danny Samson. I won a free breakfast. Quick as shot Kevin "Lovejoy" O'Leary quipped "I would rather eat the meal ticket, there's far more nutrition in that!"

A couple of contentious things happened before the final started.

Firstly, we played on the bubble for a *very* long time. At least an hour. After a while someone suggested taking a grand off the top prize and giving it to 19th. I refused. Paul Alterman, one of my best friends in poker, was very critical of my decision. I understand I looked very tight and I did feel sorry for the guy who ended up on the bubble. But, about 5 years ago I was playing a £100 tournament in Southampton. On the bubble everyone agreed to give a oner to the bubble player. Immediately I raised with KK and a woman moved allin on the blinds with JT or some such shit. She said "I'm happy now I've got my hundred back". Obviously she won the hand. Ever since then I've turned down giving money to the bubble boy. It totally changes the way people play. As a big stack I raised ALOT and knowing if they took a stand against me at this stage might mean they've played 12 hours for nothing, meant the small stacks were forced to pass, whereas if they were guaranteed a grand they would be happier to gamble. Simply put, giving the bubble money changes the way the game is played and I don't want that, especially when I am chip leader.

Secondly, Luton brought in this ridiculous rule that in a showdown all hands must be flipped over. Supposedly to stop chip passing. It clearly didn't work and led to annoyance and frustration. But the ultimate denouement occurred with 11 players left. Lovejoy had played flawless poker throughout the comp but had run very low on chips. he couldn't afford to take the BB again and moved in UTG on my BB. This was a very good move because another player would need a big hand to take him on knowing I was the BB and could break them, and also he knows that I view him as a very tight player and although I would definitely call with a half decent hand would fold a total piece of cheese. Anyway, he got action. When the cards were dealt he got out of his chair having been knocked out. But, with this rule in place the dealer flipped his 72 offsuit over. It was unnecessary and led to embarrassment for Kevin. A stupid rule which I hope will never be enforced again.

I got to play with Teddykins for quite a long period of time. Granted he is a bit of a space cadet, but he is nothing like the tosser he appeared on the Poker Million with all that "Lord and Master" bollocks. And he isn't a total maniac either, he played intelligent tight poker for almost all the time I was against him.

So, onto the final. There was no dominating chip leader with about 5 stacks of approximately 200k. Two hands will stick in my mind.

Before the final I got a text message saying "Don't mess around with Eric Barker unless you've got the goodies. He doesn't lay a hand down". I had already been playing alot tighter than normal against the bigger stacks and this affected the way I played this hand: Barker had taken control of the final table early busting a couple of players out and taking a big chip lead. He raised to 40k for the umpteenth time. I had about 200k and the button. I called with JJ. I wanted to make sure neither of the blinds woke up with a decent hand and see a favourable flop. Eric bet out on any flop previously when he raised so I expected the 60k bet when we saw a flop of T86. I moved in. Barker certainly doesn't like leaving money behind and took forever to pass. I moved to 300k and comparitive safety.

Then the defining moment of the tournament occurred. Julian Thew had been on my left for about 10 hours of this event. I was getting heartily sick of him reraising me and I was desperate to catch him. It looked like time had run out to win a big pot from him. Then, five handed I found the boots. Julian, in the BB moved in. "yes! Got him at last!", I thought. and called. About half the chips in play were in the pot. He turned over TT. The agony of the flop of JT8 was immense. But incredibly the turn and river came Q and 9 for a split pot and relief all round. We both got out of it.

When it was 3 handed a deal was struck. Julian and I had a fair lead over Eric but he refused to budge and demanded a equal cut. Unfortunately I was in no financial position to refuse so we took 25k each and played for 12. I busted him very quickly flopping two pair and a set in quick succession. Heads up I took another 5 grand and Julian took 3. I must admit after the first deal was done the adrenelin which had been keeping me going ebbed away and I rapidly very tired. That's not to take anything away from Julian who played brilliantly all tournament and deserved to beat me heads up.

What next? Well, there will certainly be some very happy credit card companies and banks around this week as I am finally able to clear all my debts. I fucked up badly last year. The value in the big tournaments in the USA is definitely immense but to play them consistantly you need a bankroll much bigger than mine. I made 8 trips to the States last year which was plainly ridiculous. If nothing else, the exes were huge. I will not make the same mistake again. I will pick and choose my spots carefully and never risk such a high proportion of my tank on one or two events no matter how great the perceived value.

Finally thanks for all the emails, text messages and phone calls of support and congratulations. When you are down your luck and struggling you find out who your real friends are. But, perhaps the most satisfying thing of all was something tikay wrote about me in his report of the week: "Always smiling. No moody's. No table banging, perfect table etiquette." It may sound corny but that's the aim. To take winning and losing the same way and to have others enjoy playing poker against me. I don't care if you think I'm a good player or a bad player (and one guy I busted from the £250 PLHE was heard to mumble "That Hawkins plays like a fat version of Jac Arama") but if you enjoy the experience of playing poker with me, well, I'm happy.

A Good Point, Well Made...

2005-01-25T11:40:00.000-08:00

I was perusing the comments on my post about the reason PokerStars decided to hand over the money raised from their tsunami relief fund on national television.

Anonymous wrote, "...I thought the public donation was a great idea. Offshore gaming is still regarded as a 'shady' business. By donating through a public venue, they help to remove any doubts of whether the money really went to the cause or into someone's pocket instead".

Now I have 100% faith in the honesty and integrity of PokerStars. In my dealings with them their actions have always been exemplary and beyond reproach.

But, I can see why some people have doubts. The identity of the ownership of online poker sites is often deeply hidden. JetSetPoker ran a fund similar to 'Stars and I definitely wouldn't have donated there.

Therefore the decision to donate on National tv would have put any fears as to where donated money was going to rest and was therefore justified.

World Series of Poker (Luton Style...)

2005-01-25T10:42:00.000-08:00

I always wondered whether I was capable of surviving a week long pokerfest, such is the test given by the WSOP. Well, last week at Luton was the nearest I've ever come to playing a week straight.

This was the schedule I played:

Wednesday 8pm - 5.15am £500 NLHE.
Thursday 2.30pm - 9pm £500 NLHE Day 2.
Friday 8pm - 5am £250 PLHE.
Saturday 2.30pm - 6.30pm £250 PLHE Day 2.
Saturday 8pm - 3.30am £1000 NLHE.
Sunday 3pm - 4.15am £1000 NLHE Day 2.

Now, obviously I'm not complaining. The structures were very slow and that suits me. But, it seemed like I was either playing poker, driving (I was staying with my parents about an hour away from Luton) or grabbing a couple of hours sleep for an entire week. By Monday morning I was so tired I felt like a zombie! But, if I'm ever going to go deep in a really big tournament, the endurance factor will be a big test.

I know it's a matter of fine tuning, but was 10,0000 chips and a 45 minute clock really necessary for a monkey comp? And if Luton wants to feed us (we are very grateful for any comps of course...) rather than offer a buffet, what about giving everyone a £10 voucher for bar food which could be eaten while we played.

The schedule could have been slightly more player friendly. The less popular tournaments (omaha and stud), could have been played the day before the two NLHE freezeouts as they would have been done and dusted in one night and given everyone a level playing field for the big events.

But, you've got to hand to Carmel. She really listens to players opinions and acts on them. I think Luton are very close to running the perfect poker festival. Thanks.

Just for Withnail here is a quick rundown of the bad beats I dealt on the other players and a quick review of each event:

£500 NLHE: It seems like an eternity since this event and my memory is a bit hazy. I know I sat next to Ed Giddins (nice bloke, who gave me the run down of the events which led to him being banned from cricket... you really shouldn't believe everything you read from anonymous posters on poker forums) and Dave "Charisma" Welsh. Charisma is certainly already tired of being mistaken for his Ambassadorial namesake. I don't like being harsh on newcomers but Charisma certainly has to stop talking through hands which he's not involved in and giving hapless players the rubdown after they've made a bad play. "How the hell can you call with that?" was often heard. I never really got going on day 1, but one thing I noticed was with so many players coming back the following afternoon, several players went allin on very marginal hands in the last 30 minutes to try and double up and have a decent stack for the next day. If you are entering a 2 day tournament why think "It's not worth coming back with 8,000"? You should pick you spots just as carefully in the last 30 minutes as the first 30 and if you don't want to come back, don't play.

I was very pleased with the way I nursed my short stack despite lack of playable hands and kept in the hunt (I finished day 1 in the botton 5 stacks with 25k or so). On the Thursday I actually picked up a few hands. I virtually trebled up when Shifty Stevens limped in trap 1, I made a small raise with the boots, Tony Hakki called in the sb and Shifty moved in. Yum Yum. I then knocked out Francis Rohan with JJ v AQ much to his chagrin "how can you call me with this shit son?". I actually reached the final in good shape. But, it wasn't to be. I raised to pass twice and was blinded down for three rounds. Then I moved in with QT to find the BB holding AK. End of Camel.

I certainly wasn't impressed with the winner's play. He seems to care not a jot what his opponent is holding, if he likes his hand he simply moves allin. How he has ever won a big tournament like this is beyond me, he should by rights be trapped very easily as he uses a sledge hammer to smash a peanut. Some of the placed horses however impressed me greatly. I have never played with "Cactus Jack", who finished second, before. My spies had warned me he was a complete loony, but I liked his big stack game. He was prepared to gamble with the short stacks but gave due respect when it was needed and played endlessly aggressive poker. (I did play with him for a short while in the £250 PLHE and he didn't play nearly as well. Whether it was because he had satisfied his hunger with a £10k payday or he can't manoeuver so well with a short stack I don't know). Two others impressed me: Stuart Fox and N Tang. Fox has been cleaning up recently and it doesn't surprise me. He plays very aggressively but can put a hand down when things are going wrong. If he hadn't lost a huge pot with KK v AA I am certain he would have finished in the top 3. I have never seen or heard of Mr Tang before. But, he is certainly one to watch. He played on the tight side but picked his spots expertly and never gave up despite having a short stack for ages. A name to look out for in the future.

£250 PLHE: I don't like pot limit as much as no limit and decided to play this event as a semi freezeout unless I had an amazing table. I vowed not to rebuy and only add on if there were alot of chips on my table and I hadn't doubled up. I wanted to be fresh for the £1000 tournament the next day.

Well, this tournament was quite amazing. I was blessed. I found big hand after big hand early on. I flopped a couple of sets and got paid handsomely. Then just after the rebuys ended I raised with QT hearts and got called by Ben Grundy in the BB (I think he was BB although he may have limped). I flopped the nut flush draw and turned the nuts. I got him virtually allin and won a huge pot. I had about 60k when the average was probably a fifth of that. With the only big stack safely to my right (Mick Jones who is a very dangeropus player as he will put all his chips in on seemingly a whim.) I stole and played carefree poker. I got lucky in a big pot againt Tony "Blondepoker" Kendall when everyone passed to me in the sb I raise with AQ and he moved allin with AK. I called pretty quickly but it was about 1/4 of my chips against such a tight player perhaps I should have released. But, I didn't and I hit a Q on the turn to knock him out. We finished for day 1 with 18 left and I was in second place in chips.

Now the old doubts crept in overnight. The amount of times I've wanked away a big stack in the last 18 months is truly frightening. I vowed to play very snugly and pick my spots carefully. We redrew for seats for the semi and the fact Roy The Boy was sitting on my table with a medium stack made me all the tighter as I sure didn't want to double him up. I made one huge error here. with 200k I called a short stacks allin bet of 22k with KJ suited. Now the BB moved allin with AQ for 30k more and I am pretty much compelled to call. I lost a quarter of my stack with a piece of cheese. I managed to make the final with above average chips. The play with KJ affected my thinking in the key pot of the final. with 7 left Brindley moved in on the button for about 40k. I moved in from the SM with AT trying to shut out the BB. But he woke up with AK and called. Ugh. Roy was at it with 56. I rivered a ten and knocked them both out. Now deal time, 4 ways. With 1.2 million chips in play I had about 400k and the other 3 split the reamining chips fairly evenly . There was 49 grand in the pot and I agreed to take 12k with the other 3 taking 10k each. The deal wasn't great for me but I agreed for two reasons. I had a terrible 12 months in 2004 and could do with 12 large and the other 3 guys had all shown a willingless to gamble. D Mitchell had called a huge allin bet with K5. D Mitchell had done the same with AT. Mick Jones had the hump with me for refusing to up 10th place by a monkey (I didn't refuse because I'm tight.... I always refuse to giving the bubble money since I agreed in Southampton one day and someone went allin with QJ against my KK saying "I've got £200 now, I'm happy". It changes the game, makes the small stacks more happy to gambooool. And if I'm around at the late stages of a comp I want to exploit the fact that several players are desperate just to make the money/final.) and maybe he would gamlble with me too. So we played for about 7 grand. I lost about 80 grand raising with A8 and having to pass for a reraise. Then after Jones was knocked out I found AA on the BB with Mitchell raising into me. I reraised small, and he called. The flop looked lovely: J65. He checked and I moved in. Oops, he had 66. Exit Camel. I was very happy with my play in this event. Apart from the KJ error I play pretty much faultless poker. Although I made a couple of big outdraws, pot odds probably made a call the right play. I was never allin prior to the deal being made and I always take that as a tournament well played.

One player really stood out in this comp. A young kid John Paul Kelly was on my table for a long time. He was the player who moved in with AQ. He played absolutely brilliantly and made one great laydown with QQ when up against AA. He will win big tournaments in the future without a doubt.

I think this post is long enough already and my typing fingers are tired... so, I will tell the £1000 tournament story tomorrow (or the day after....)

Miros v Raconteur

2005-01-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

The highlight of the £500 comp at Luton on Thursday was this one liner to end a conversation perfectly.

Mrs Miros came up to me just as the first break was announced and asked "How are you doing Camel?"

"Oh, I've got about what I started with, How is Miros doing?"

"He's just in a big pot with Richard Gryko who is sitting on his right and I couldn't watch"

"Who has won it?"

"I'm not sure, they are standing up now, so the pot must be over..."

"Well, who looks looks the smugger?"

"Hmmm... Very difficult to say!"

'Nuff said!

Housekeeping

2005-01-17T17:26:00.000-08:00

A few points of order and stuff.

Firstly, I am not the Poker Bastard.

I would admit guilt if I was the Bastard, as Derek from Gutshot rightly says, I am in the business of self promotion. All that free publicity I am missing out on! But, sadly, you better look elsewhere for the culprit.

Secondly, I promised you the full Mark Strahan story. It is coming, but I just need to see someone to confirm one fact in the story. I would hate to provide incorrect information!

Bets: The first two have now been settled. Detroit finished third in the NFC North and made up 10. I should have been more bullish than 10pts, but anyways, we cop 70 points. Minnesota imploded and got knocked out on Sunday. Randy Moss is an incredible talent but also a complete tosser. They have a very useful set of WR's without him (Burleson, Campbell and Robinson). If Mike Tice had any balls he would trade Moss for a run stuffing DT and a couple of high draft picks. It might do wonders for Vikings team morale. Anyway we do 20pts. 50pts profit so far.

One small bet to add to the portfolio. Ashley Alterman is quite amazingly priced up at 80/1 for the Poker Million. He hasn't played many big tournaments recently (I assume he is too lazy to drag his arse out of the chair in front of his computer). But believe me, he truly is an excellent player who won't be fazed by the tv cameras and is an excellent closer. Check his results out: http://pokerdb.thehendonmob.com/player.php?a=r&n=260
There are maybe 5 players in the field who I would price up shorter than Ashley.

5pts Each Way Ashley Alterman (iconoclast) for the Poker Milion 2005 (80/1 Ladbrokes)

Provided the weather allows me to travel, I am off down to Luton for the first big tournament of the year tomorrow. Not quite sure how many events I'm going to play yet. The monkey no limit for sure, and I'll play it by ear after that... I'd like to play the grand at the weekend, but I can't really justify it at the moment on my depleted bankroll.

Still, 2005 has started pretty positively, I've discovered how profitable the turbo SNG's are. They are just dreadfully dull...

Hmmmmm...

2005-01-15T13:13:00.000-08:00

I just logged onto to Pokerstars and was confronted by this message:

"Tsunami Relief Donations Presented on NBC

"On behalf of everyone at PokerStars we would like to extend a heart felt "thank you" to the 11,900 PokerStars players who came together to raise nearly $200,000 for the victims of the Asian Earthquake and tsunami. PokerStars has rounded your donations up to an even $200,000 and matched it 100%, bringing our total contribution to $400,000!

"Our donation to the American Red Cross will be presented during the NBC Tsunami Aid television special on Saturday, January 15, 2005 at 8.00pm ET."

I have no idea how much an advertising spot on NBC costs on a primetime slot during Saturday evening, but I doubt $200,000 is far away.

Would it not have been better and more classy just to give the Red Cross the money and move on? Is this move just publicity seeking? Or am I just being over sensitive?

I'm starting to think my original thought about the real motives of PokerStars in running the tsunami funds might not have been too far off the mark after all...

It seems DY is being paid by Gutshot to post on their forum...

2005-01-11T14:23:00.000-08:00

Doesn't this defeat the object of forums?

Or is it like a party where the host hires a few dancers so noone has to be the first on the dancefloor?

Opinions, as ever, are welcome...

I Almost Fell off my Chair Tonight...

2005-01-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

...when I found out poker twat Phil Laak was dating this Hollywood actress:

http://web.quick.cz/tryst2002/cserka78/1.jpg

I suppose this means poker players really are celebrities now and all those stories of the Septic Tiger dating super models might not be so fanciful from now on..

But, which poker player will be next snapped up by a celebrity?

Kouros by Angelina Jolie maybe?

Malcolm Robinson by Caprice? (She played in the WPT at Paris, so she *must* like poker.)

George Kiss by Reese Witherspoon?

David Welch by Raquel Welch?

Where will it all end?

The only thing missing is poker...

2005-01-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

http://www.members.optushome.com.au/crx45/sponsor/

The WSOP Champion's View of Slowrollers...

2005-01-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

This was posted on twoplustwo a couple of months ago and is Greg Raymer's idea of slowrollers:

"Every poker player I've ever run into who regularly pulls stunts like this is a weak and losing player who can't learn how to play well, so he tries to learn how to win with infantile tricks and ploys. These are the moves of a loser, and I've yet to see an exception. So, if you wish to be in that class of players, by all means, continue the BS."

I only know one player who regularly slowrolls and that is Mr Popularity himself, Mr Jac Arama.

Now, does Greg's description fit Jac?

Putting My Foot In It....

2004-12-30T10:13:00.000-08:00

I managed to go nearly the whole of 2004 without offending, annoying or upsetting anyone (apart from those I intended to offend, annoy or upset of course!)

Then last night "Gazza" posted this on the Mob forum:

Tsunami Relief Tourney on Stars
Posted by Gazza on 29/12/2004, 10:02 pm

A private tournament has been arranged on PokerStars with half of the prize pool to be donated to the International Red Cross to aid those effected by the Tsunami.

The tournament is to be held at 11PM GMT this Sunday (2nd Jan). The password is zoohelp

For more details please see here.

I was immdiately repulsed.

I felt it was totally inappropriate to run a poker tournament to raise money for this disaster.

Poker can easily be seen as a metaphor with what's wrong with the Western world. Greed, decadence and laziness. Tens of thousands of people are dying and we run a poker tournament. It just didn't feel right.

I had to stick my oar in:

Ugh
Posted by The Camel on 29/12/2004, 10:08 pm

Tens of thousands of people die and some bright spark decides to organise a poker tournament to raise money for victims.

Is it just me who thinks this is tasteless in the extreme?

Just make a donation if that's what you want to do. But don't play a poker tournament in memorial of those who died. It is unbelieveably tacky IMO.

I also notice pokerstars are taking $1 per player. Classy.

The way I saw it, if you want to give money to the disaster that's all very laudable, but do you really need to be prompted to give something by playing a poker tournament?

Gazza and I went backwards and forwards a couple of times and then I went to bed.

When I turned the computer on this morning I had softened my stance appreciably and realised it is better to give something, however small, by playing this tournament than nothing.

I wasn't prepared for the litany of abuse I had suffered on the forum:

Vlad reckoned "I suck"
Byron Kincaid called me "a prat"
Anthony claimed I was "point scoring"

Overnight Pokerstars had agreed to not rake the event (good news), Lee Jones donated $500 of his own money to the fund (Not a surprise, he is without doubt, a classy guy) but they had also added extra prizes of hats and jackets to final tablists.

Aggressive Flair summed it all up rather cynically, but correctly:

Re: Extra prizes and Donations added by PokerStars and Lee Jones
Posted by Aggressive Flair on 30/12/2004, 2:51 pm

Will the luxury leather wool jacket be embossed with a tastefull logo depicting a large wave?
What about a nice trophy aswell.I love collecting trophies.You can keep the hats.

It is perhaps the fact the winner will make maybe $500 from winning the event which I find most distasteful and to top it off it will have a nice, cosy jacket to remember his achievement by. If there was no tsunami, he would never have made the money. Surely it would be more tasteful for all the players to just give the $11 to oxfam or the Red Cross or whoever?

Do I wish I had never made my original post on hm? Definitely.
Do I think the event is tasteless in the extreme? Yes.
Is playing this tournament better than giving nothing? Of course.

The Start of a Very Worrying Trend?

2004-12-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

Just back from Vegas (ok, ok it was over a week ago, but with Christmas preparations etc the blog hasn't been top priority...) and while out there I witnessed something I hadn't seen for a few years and I hope it isn't the harbinger of the future.

It used to be the ritual if you sat down with a very minor poker celebrity in a small cash game at Vegas, the celeb would reach under their chair, pull out a very battered bag and proffer the newcommer a copy of usually a well thumbed book about poker and encourage you to hand over some of your hard earned to buy a copy.

For a while everyone was at it.

A mate of mine came up with the ultimate put down once. He was sitting in a $6-$12 game at the Mirage reading a copy of Oklahoma Johnny Hale's autobiography when he wasn't involved in a hand.

The self styled "First Lady of Poker" Susie Isaacs (She's been called several other, less flattering names too) sat in Ian's game. Her eyes lit up when she saw Ian's head buried in a poker book. "I see you like poker books", she said "have a look at mine, it's just been published." And passed him a copy. He spent about 0.01 seconds flicking through it and passed it back.

"Very interesting" he said.

"Perhaps you would like to buy a copy? They are only $15." She begged.

"No thanks." Ian replied.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm only interested in reading famous players thoughts. And I've never heard of you"

She stomped off without playing a hand. Very funny. But 5 or 6 yeas ago everyone was at it. McEvoy, Cloutier, Buntjer, Ciaffone, Baldwin and Brunson to name but afew. The books were of very variable quality, but you could be sure to pick up a copy at your local cardroom.

The fad died out. But in Vegas this time the old bag full of books trick was in operation again.

This time it was Ron Rose doing the hawking. Rose is perhaps the biggest beneficiary of the WPT cult of fame when a player doesn't deserve it. He is a very moderate poker player (and a whinger in the extreme) who happened to get lucky in a WPT event when the field were tiny and found himself a poker celebrity.

His book "Poker Aces" further promotes poker players as neo celebs. He profiles the history of about 100 famous players. I doubt very much if he details the child assault case of Amarillo Slim, the cheating allegations against Doyle Brunson, Men the Master and others, the disgraceful behaviour at the table of John Bonetti or the fact David Benyamine in barred from entering and Amir Vahedi is barred from leaving the USA. The fact is, I wouldn't trust about 15 of the "Poker Aces" with a the keys to my house because I would be worried it would ransacked.

I haven't read the book. But, it doesn't take a genius to work out it is almost certainly sycophantic claptrap and should be avoided at all costs.

The Magic of Marcel Luske

2004-12-23T13:18:00.000-08:00

Anyone who been around the poker scene for more than 5 minutes will know the somewhat shady rumours about Marcel's past. I have no idea if they are true or not and before anyone asks, I have no intention of reproducing them here.

There was also the episode where he "bought" the trophy in a heads up a deal with Jan Boubli at the Vic a couple of years ago in order to gain the extra ranking points in his quest to be European Player of the Year.

I played with Marcel for the first time in the States at the Bellagio a couple of weeks ago. Marcel is a bona fide star in the USA. His impressive performances at the WSOP tv table on ESPN (the show is way more popular than the WPT) have made him a huge name. He sang at the table, gave almost clairvoyant assessments of other players hole cards, dressed like a Hollywood superstar and mentored young David Willaims even while Marcel was still playing the tournament.

The railbirds crowded round and watched his every move. Even other players seemed in awe of him.

His reaction to the bally hoo impressive beyond belief. He had a kind word and a wink for everyone. He shook the hands of seemingly hunderds of railbirds. He signed more autographs than David Beckham could ever hope to get through. He had his photo taken with countless fans. He even made the heart of a middle aged female fan go fluttering by giving her a quick peck on the lips. He didn't disappoint his legion of fans by bursting into song a couple of times.

If he ever produces a Dvd like Hellmuth and Lederer I guarantee it will be a best seller.

Marcel is not a great poker player. I would far rather be on his table than that of Gary Jones, Rob Hollink or Shar Koumi or lots of other European players the Yanks have never heard of.

But Marcel is a star. He does something I have never seen any other poker player do consistantly.

He puts smiles on peoples faces.

And for that he must be cherished.

Vegas Diary (condensed version)

2004-12-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

Free upgragdes to First Class on journey to Vegas: 1
Lifts cadged in Devilfishes stretch limo to Hotel: 1
Bets on American Football mtches which manage to lose after winning by 10 with about a minute to go: 1
Winning Craps sessions: 0
Losing Craps sessions: 0 (Impressive huh?)
Long explanations by Harry D why he didn't Christen himself "The Wise Owl": 3 (and counting..)
Tournaments played at Bellagio: 1
Tournaments at Bellagio where I've spunked my chips away despite having 5 times chip average at one stage: 1
Excellent NFL bet for Sunday identified: 1 (Cincinnati +11)
Healthy meals eaten: 3 (No, McDonalds doesn't count in this catergory!)
Discovery of Padraigs nickname for Lothar Landuer: 1 ("Logo" Landauer, anyone who has met him will realise how funny this is..)
Pai Gow lessons from Kevin O'Connell and Ram Vaswani: 1 (and very short, due to appauling bad luck. However, I am somewhat dubious of Kevin's claim to have won 14 straight times earlier in the year)
Expensive lessons learned: 2 (Don't come to Vegas when skint and Don't put in third reraise with QQ against chip leader)

Going to try and play Saturday's No limit event and the Super satellite for the big event on Monday.

Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Crickey, Another Great Stockingfiller!!!!

2004-12-01T18:02:00.000-08:00

In case you need something for Auntie Gladys on December 25th... the perfect gift:

http://www.pokerschoolonline.com/pokerschool/pokerstore/

I can only marvel at Mark Napolitano's arrogance and egotism that enables him and his missus to be the subject for November.

Was I hearing Things?

2004-12-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

For my sins I was watching the Pacific Poker UK Open on Challenge last night.

The deck ran over Jac Arama and he waltzed to victory.

Did I hear Gary Jones say in the background "Jac Arama is a lucky fish!"?

Why do they bother?

2004-12-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

have you ever been playing a tournament on 'Stars when an observer message like this: "malamoney [observer]: Malamoney Open 11:55pm EST NLHE $10+1 All welcome" pops up?

I can accept people occasionally want to run a private tournament for friends.

But why would someone want to run a private event that is open to all?

What on earth is the point?

Time for a Proper Bet...

2004-11-30T13:46:00.000-08:00

As most of you may know, I am a sick Queens Park Rangers supporter. Even though I am living in Darlington I still go to most home games and many away games. Katharine reckons I ought to see a doctor in attempt to cure me from this addiction.

Anyway, having this magnificent obsession means I follow the Coca-Cola Championship with an almost unhealthy interest. Having watched altogether too many matches this year I have come to the conclusion Wigan are quite comfortably the best team in this section. They have been through a slightly sticky spell of late it must be admitted, but I was at Loftus Road when the R's beat them and they really were outstanding. They should have been at least 3 up at half time and gone on to stuff us. From reports they were unlucky not to beat both Leicester and Reading on their last two starts.

They have a lethal (although admittedly mis-firing at present) strikeforce of Ellington and Roberts. A great midfield, featuring the best player in the division, Bullard. And a very solid back defence.

They now have a very kind schedule for the next six weeks. They play on one of their promotion challengers in that time: Ipswich, who I believe are the least likely of the current top 4 to reach automatic promotion. They have to face Rotherham, Gillingham, Wolves and Preston in the coming weeks. Hardly a testing time, especially when other promotion challengers are going to clash against each other regularly.

Now is the time to back them. And for once, I'm having a "proper" bet. I really am very confident they will win this section.

100pts Wigan to win the Championship (5/2 Stan James)

Those bookie fellows are forcing my hand on the NFL. They are betting well overbroke on the place portion of their each way terms on the NFC teams. This will disappear shortly as I notice 3 bookmakers have moved to the dreaded 1/3 1,2 each way terms this week. And as bookmakers are lemmings, I expect the others to follow suit next week. So, now is the time to step in.

But, who to back? The AFC is much the stronger conference, and as such should be avoided for betting purposes. The NFC is much easier. I couldn't argue with anyone plunging on Philadelphia each way at 3/1. They have looked very impressive for much of the year and continue to roll along strongly. However, the nagging doubt remains they failed in playoffs for the last 3 years when NFC favourites. Does McNabb choke in the big game? The other options are spotty at best. Atlanta, St Louis and Seattle all have great talents levels but are woefully inconsistant. Minnesota are my pick. They have a marginally easier schedule than Green Bay in their division and if they win the NFC North they should avoid Philly until the conference finals. They have a stellar offence with Culpepper outstanding and Moss the possibly the best WR in NFL history. They also have a very strong Offensive line. The defense which has been shocking in recent seasons certainly looked improved against Jax last week. At 20/1 they are certainly each way value.

10pts Each Way Minnesota for the Superbowl (20/1 BlueSq, Stan James)

A quick look at the other bets I've mentioned earlier:

Andy Johnson has single handedly propelled Crystal Palace past West Brom and up the Premiership table. Will it last? I hope not. I still believe WBA are the more complete team, but when both teams are only expected to gather about 30 points all season 3 points is a bit of a hurdle to overcome.

Plymouth are so infuriating they have made me tear my hair out. They beat Wigan comfortably, yet lose to Coventry a few days later. I've almost thrown my ante post voucher away, but don't discount them going on a hot streak and pushing for the playoffs just yet. The buy of the field which I hoped was a very solid investment is looking a bit dodgy. Thank God the R's are still punching away. Burnley, Stoke, Watford and Preston are all there or thereabouts. Hopefully at least one of the field will make the playoffs at least. West Ham have struggled to match Sporting's estimation of them as I hoped. They have been on a poor run recently and have some tough games looming. They have dropped to 74.5-76 and I think they will drop a little more yet. Hold tight.

Bournemouths dip in form has coincided with the absence of prolific striker James Hayter. As long as they stay in touch while he's out I'm confident they can still win automatic promotion.

Detroit despite a few scares early on have performed as badly as I hoped. They have lost 5 straight and look booked for third. Chicago have just signed two new QBs so a chance remains the Lions might come last and make up 0. A nice freeroll whatever!

Matthew Stevens' Words of Wisdom

2004-11-22T15:57:00.000-08:00

After winning his heat of the UK Open Matthew Stevens was asked this assinine question:

"So, Matthew, did you have a game plan before the tournament began?"

"Well, when I had a good hand, I stuck 'em all in"

Easy game really, isn't it?

Meanwhile over at ukpoker.com....

2004-11-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

...the tumbleweeds are still rolling through the site. So far there have been a grand total of eight posts during the month of November in the forum which was bought back by "popular demand".

But, amazingly, one of these eight posts manged to raise a hearty chuckle.

I repost it in full, because my words could just not do it justice:

Subject: Newbie players wanted for 1 to 1 tuition via the WWW

Name: Mark S.

Hi,

My name is Mark Strahan and I'm a teacher of poker at the Fitzwilliam Card Club in Dublin, Ireland.

I've run courses there for the past 18 months and you can read up on these courses, and their content, on WWW.UKPOKER.COM, my website, by a link off the front page.

I'm now looking to take the tutoring onto the WWW and am looking for students who might like to be taught, 1 on 1, the finer points of the game.

Course fees will be based on you winnings throughout the course and there'll be lots of practical exercises with 'live' tuition as you play in various tournaments on various Internet card rooms at various times. (Tuition will be via SKYPE or MSN messenger)

If you're interested then drop me a note and we'll go from there.

All students will receive a FREE copy of my new book - 'How To Win At Texas Hold'Em' on signing up.

********************************************************

Honestly you just couldn't make this stuff up.

Other ways of wasting a few quid:

Using £10 notes as fire starters.
Buying a small share in Aces Poker.
Backing The Camel in a major poker tournament.
Lending the Ambassador a hundred pounds "until next week"..

Launched Just In Time for Christmas...

2004-11-17T18:16:00.000-08:00

Buy them before they run out of stock...

http://www.pokerheads.net/

It seems like Vicky Coren gets everywhere these days...

2004-11-16T16:46:00.000-08:00

Just been to see the RSC production of King Lear at Newcastle. All good stuff.

During the interval I was perusing the programme over my tub of Loseleys Double Choc Ice Cream (why do people always eat ice cream at theatres even though its -4 outside?) when I stumbled upon an article about father/daughter relationships penned by pokers' very own Ms Coren.

It's about the first time I have wished I had gone to the psychology lectures at college rather than Ladbrokes on a Monday afternoon...

No Regrets (Well, not that many anyway)

2004-11-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I came 7th in the big event at Amsterdam after being in or close to the chip lead for the best part of 2 days.

But, although I can't deny I am bitterly disappointed, unlike the last two big events where I have entered the latter stages with huge chips (The Vic and the Bellagio in 2002) where I really fucked up badly, I don't think I did much wrong. So I really should dust myself down and just say well done to the winners.

For two days it was pretty much a dream tournament. I had great draw, with the only dangerous players ever to visit my table (Rumit Somaya, Paul Leckey, Paul Alterman and Julian Thew) safely to my right.

I got a double up within the first 90 minutes of the tournament when Rumit limped with J9 and I had Q9 on the sb and we saw a very pretty flop of 992. I am more convinced then ever that the correct strategy for me in these big events is to gamble early on to get a double up because when a loose/aggressive player has the power to bust anyone on the table it makes the other players very wary of tangling with him and leads to alot of easy steals.

The rest of the day was plain sailing. A guy wanted to totally overplay AK when I had AA (the only time I had the boots in 3 days!). Then I busted AA when a German decided to try and trap me when I had 99 and flopped a set. I finished the day with approximately 65,000 and I felt fresh and relaxed.

Onto day 2, and for the first few hours it was more of the same. I stole with complete freedom. And my loose image caused a pretty big stack to put far too many chips into a pot when he raised my BB with AQ and saw a flop of A99.

After perhaps 9 hours of play on the second day we got down to 2 tables. I had never been allin and I had never showed the worst hand in a big pot. I had about 220,000 in chips and things couldn't be running smoother. Then, with blinds of 2-4k Ali Sharkeshik opened the pot for 12,000. I found QQ in the cutoff. I reraised him to 35,000. Immediately he moved allin for about 40,000 more. Hmmmm. I knew I was almost certainly behind, but there was enough chance of him having AK or a smaller pair that calling for 40,000 to win 120,000 when I have about chip average if I lose, was almost certainly correct.

Alas, Ali had KK. But as soon as the flop was dealt I saw the doorcard was a beautiful looking queen! I busted Ali and assumed the chip lead. Now, an interesting passage of play ensued. For the first time in the entire tournament I had a player whose play I respect, Dutchman Rob Hollink, on my immediate left. With such big chips and the final looming I tried to weild my big stick as the other players tried to scramble into the last 10. But, Rob clearly sensed this was my tactic and haiving good chips himself he started to take me on. Twice within 5 hands he reraise my opening raise and I layed my hand down.

This was frustrating me greatly. I should have been making steady progress and the conflicts with Rob were pissing me off. I had given him about 30k. Not terminal to a 280kish stack certainly, but annoying nonetheless. Then, on my button everyone passed and I made it 14,000 to play with 9T sooooted. Rob, with a stack of about 160,000 made it 40,000 to go. Now, the rest of the table must of been getting used of me raising only to pass for the reraise, and were mentally taking note of this. So, I took I stand. I wanted everyone to know if you reraise me you have to hold a hand which you are prepared to put the whole lot in. So, I shipped it allin. Now, I have never taken cocaine, but the next three minutes were the biggest buzz I have ever had in poker and possibly similar to a couple of lines of coke. At one stage Rob looked certain to call, at another stage he looked certain to pass. Now, imagine the pressure on me while he is going through these macinations and I am trying desperately not to give anything away. Eventually he passed. A massive relief for me obviously but noone messed around with me after I raised for the remainder of that tables life.

So, I made the final. I had a good nights sleep was ready to play. But, it wasn't my day. The trap draw which had been so kind to me throughout the event deserted me at the last. The chip leader Pouya Pouya Majd was seated 3 to my left and obviously came to the final with a game plan. He had played on my table for about 5 hours on day 2 and knew I like to play and raise plenty of pots. He was clearly determined not to allow me to have control of the table and immediately reraise me in the first two pots I opened. C'est la vie, I decided to sit back and try to trap him. After about 2 hours of the final I raised from middle position with AT. The lowest stack, Robert Mizrachi, called. I had seen him make the old "call from the BB and then go allin on the flop" move several times the previous day and it was half in my mind he was planning to do this here. I watched the flop of 369 with two hearts and looked up to see what he was going to do. His chips were already in the pot! Now it wasn't a clear call, I had to put in 50k and the pot was about 140k. But, the nagging thought in my head was that I had the best hand. So, I called. His hand was JQh. So, he had 2 overcards to the flop and a flush draw. I've just checked on twodimes and he was 54%-46% favourite so my call was mathmatically correct. I will never know if he saw he had a flush draw before he went allin but I suspect he didn't, he was merely betting I had missed the flop. He hit his flush and I was down to about 240k in chips.

A couple of rounds later the smallest stack moved allin on my BB. The allin bet was his only move throughout the time I was playing with him. I looked down and saw JJ. I had to call 65,000ish. Again it wasn't a clear call, but I felt there was enough chance of him Arag or a lower pair that a call was the correct play. Alas, he had QQ and they held up. Incendentally, he made the exact same move a few hands later with TT after someone limped in! So, my call wasn't too bad.

Now I became pretty short stacked. The blinds had moved up to 5-15k with a running 3k and I hovered at about 100k. Tristan made up the 15 from the small blind with similar chips and I found AK in the BB. Pretty much a nobrainer dontcha think? I moved in and Tris called with the boots! Even if I smelt a rat and declined to raise the flop came something like K42 so I was doomed.

The whole tournament was a great buzz which I thoroughly enjoyed. I must thank the people who had enough faith in me to buy a share, and to the posters on here and on the Mob forum who supported me throughout the comp. I'm disappointed I didn't do better, but far from downcast. Congratulations must go to Tristan for another superb finish.

I'll be back...

Who is The Bastard?

2004-11-04T17:26:00.000-08:00

Found a interesting blog which is certainly worth checking out: www.pokerbastard.blogspot.com

It somehow reminds me of me when I wasn't scared to offend people.

Well worth a read.

But, the author is anonymous. Boo.

After giving it some thought here is my educated guess at the prices of certain poker celebs and others being "The Bastard" in question:

Julian Quance 7/1
Bad Beat 10/1
Lionel Hutz 12/1
Simon Galloway 14/1
Chimney Sweep 14/1
Any Vic Dealer or Member of Cardroom Staff 20/1
Joe Beevers 33/1
Vicky Coren 33/1
The Real Withnail 33/1
Andy Ward 40/1
Forza Milano 66/1
Ram Vaswani 100/1
Michael Arnold 150/1
Stavros Sendarnaris 250/1
Mick The Clock 500/1
Garry Bush 501/1
Barry Martin 1000/1
David Young 100000000/1
Ron Fanelli NameYourPrice/1

Others on Application.

Quick Trip Reports

2004-11-04T16:35:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last month or so zipping around the country for various festivals and torunaments.

A quick rough guide to the casinos and cities I've visited...

Glasgow: Great city. Excellent bars and restaurants aplenty. I was surprised how friendly the Glaswegians were to a fat Englishman. Riverboat casino has a huge amount of potential. They could run a major tournament if they shut down the restaurant upstairs for a week and put tables up there. Bar is open until 4am! Michelle, the girl who runs the tournaments is a sweetheart. Very good value tournaments with a high proportion of dead money. Highly recommended.

Blackpool: Horrid town. Full of twenty something lads looking for a bundle. I wouldn't feel safe going into a seafront pub late at night. No restaurants to speak of except chippies and there were huge queues at the decent ones. The tournament I played saw a rare sighting of Mr and Mrs Ambassador. Dealers and floor staff excellent. One dealer provided an amazing display of ambidextrousism which I've never seen anywhere in the world. Players ability seemed to be well above average and there wasn't much value around although the cash game looked lively.

Southampton: Used to be one of my regular haunts. Great to see alot of old friends. Excellent location for the casino with bars and restaurants nearby. Casino food decidely ropey. Self dealt tournaments throughout the festival which was disappointing. They try hard to please the players. Possibly the lowest standard of play anywhere, so excellent value abounds. Charlie, the excellent card room manager when I was last there has sadly left. Nice place to play poker.

Final thought on the US election

2004-11-04T16:24:00.000-08:00

It just dawned on me just how much emotional energy I put into watching and funking during the whole US election campaign.

I pinned far more hopes into this election than I've ever done for a British general election (even those when I was desperate for Thatch to get kicked out).

How sad is that? The result was far more important to the UK than I could ever imagine an election in another country could be.

It just shows how much of a poodle to the USA Britain has become.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised..

2004-11-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

..that huge numbers of American voters should have been too embarrassed to admit to exit pollsters that they voted for Bush.

It was the same in Britain when the voters refused to admit that they had voted for Thatcher or Major.

I certainly would be ashamed if I was American to have voted for:

Higher unemployment.
Higher inflation.
A huge fall in stock values.
Dirty tricks campaigns.
Tax cuts for the rich.
More misery for the poor.
No health care for the needy.
Back street abortions for women.
The persecution of homosexuals.
And sending my son/daughter/grandchild/brother/sister to their death in some godforsaken country.

They say it was the religious zealots who won this election for Bush.

Well, maybe only God will be able to save them of 4 more years of George W Bush.

Time for the Bellagio to step in?

2004-10-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

On the Hendon Mob Forum there is a couple of posts in a thread called "WSOP 2005" from Tom Gibson and Felicia Lee.

They paint a very worrying picture of the shape the WSOP will be in next year.

To summarise their posts, here are the main changes:

1. Juice will up to 9% per event.
2. Nothing will be taken from pools for dealer tokes, leaving players to sort that out themselves. Indeed, Felicia claims tournament staff will be paid exactly nothing by Harrahs!
3. The excellent team of staff currently in place will be dumped in favour of in house floorpeople.
4. Room rates at the Rio (where the event is due to be held) will be an amazing $250/night.
5. Matt Savage is unlikely to be tournament director.
6. Online sites might not run satellites for the WSOP.
7. Logos will not be allowed on players shirts.

It is a very bleak picture with players suffering a severe decline is level of service and value for money.

Let's hope the Bellagio steps in and runs a tournament to rival the WSOP.

It is an incredible hotel with the facilities to cater for huge fields. The comps they give are generous and the room rates for players are great value ($100 per night during the week for a 5 star hoel, which compares favourably with the rates for the Quality Hotel Walsall. 'Nuff said). The staff, led by the inimitable Jack Mcclelland are the best anywhere.

I am quite sure all the players would support a rival tournament at the Bellagio.

I would love to win a WSOP bracelet. But, not at all costs. If Harrahs are intent on killing the WSOP, I wouldn't play it. Poker players should vote with their feet.

I knew him when he wasn't famous...

2004-10-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

Now Neil "BadBeat" Channing has become famous after his stunning victory of a heat of the "European Open" on prime time tv he will probably forget his roots.

You see, whatever he might say, I was the one who christened him with his nickname.

When I was gainfully employed by the renowned bookmakers www.bluesquirrel.com I came up with the idea to run books on European poker tournaments.

To make a "fun" market, at the marketing departments prompting, I added nicknames to various players on the website. such as Dave "Devilfish" Ulliott and Garry "The Whacker" Bush.

When I had compiled the book, I passed it to my boss to peruse. He was happy with the whopping overround (I notice BlueSq have kept up the tradition of massive overrounds on poker with a ridiculously lopsided book for the EPT in Dublin) but was a bit perturbed about the fact that Neil, with whom he has a somewhat strained relationship (If you're interested I'm sure either Neil or Mr Tucker will fill you in), didn't have a nickname.

Due to his propensity for telling bad beat stories at the time, and the fact he always seemed to have had a bad beat to talk about with some horse or football team. I decided to price him up as Neil "BadBeat" Channing 100/1.

So, now he is famous. We will probably have Badbeatpoker.com as a skin of Party. There will be a children's game called "Bad Beat!". Probably packets of biscuits will bear the moniker. He will become rich and famous.

And will the inventor of the nickname profit in any way for setting him on the road to stardom? Not on your nelly! I'll be lucky if he even acknowledges my presence now he will be mixing with the glitterati...

Cheeky!

2004-10-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

I registered for three tournaments at Masterclassics in Amsterdam about 2 weeks ago.

It is a terrible palava trying to buyin. You can't just send the money through the internet like a million gambling sites. You have to either post or fax your credit card details to the casino.

A pain in the neck but I did it.

Yesterday they actually took the money from my account so I am officially in.

But, when I checked they had taken significantly more than I had authorised.

I phoned the casino to query this.

They took an extra 4% on top of my entry fees for "administration".

Now, I have searched their site high and low and I can find no sign of this fee mentioned. Perhaps it is there ,but it is certainly well hidden.

It is certainly cheeky to charge this in my opinion when their juice on tournaments is pretty high anyways...

If you're reading this Christopher, I must apologise..

2004-10-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

A pedantic commenter (my money's on Bob Pigg) pulls me up that I incorrectly spelt Superman's name in my post "A Fitting Tribute?".

His name was, of course, Christoper Reeve. I purely copied it from the 'Stars site and clean forgot.

But, the comment reminded me of an incicident involving the bumbling buffoon who played briefly upfront for the superhoops, Alan Brazil, when he was employed with Mike Parry on the breakfast show of Talksport.

It went something like this..

Brazil: "I've just been given some very sad news, actor John Shaw, who starred as Inspector Morse in the long running tv series, has sadly died today"

Parry: "Alan, Alan, Alan, it's John THAW not John SHAW"

Brazil: "Oh my God! I'm so sorry. John, if you're listening I really apologise..."

Russian Result...

2004-10-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

It seems that film stars (Affleck, Maguire, Woods et al) aren't the only famous people who are making a noise in the world of poker at the moment.

Look at this result from Moscow:

http://www.pokerineurope.com/majortournaments/results.php?tournamentid=2004038&event=5

Former world number one tennis player wins a decent sized tournament.

Perhaps sometime in the future we won't be subjected to the sycophantic tribute to Phil Ivey: "Tiger Woods of poker" because Tiger Woods may one day be Tiger Woods of Poker.

It could happen....

A fitting tribute?

2004-10-11T14:04:00.000-07:00

Idly flicking through the bizarre and weird private tournaments that are going to run on Pokerstars tonight I found this gem:

Oct 11 19:00 CHRISTOPHER REEVES MEMORIAL OMAHA/8 PL $10+1.

Two players are registered.

Now, I certainly haven't got anything against Mr Reeves but is a $11 PLO8 really a fitting tribute?

Was Superman a hi/lo addict? And is Pokerstars making $2 out of this event just a wee bit sick?

I just think it is a wee bit tawdry to run a poker tournament in memory of an actor who as far as I know had absolutely nothing to do with the game. That's all.

Random Vic festival thoughts...

2004-10-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

First dibs must go to John Shipley for winning the big event. He is that very rare beast, a very, very good player and a really good bloke. He took a ridiculous amount of flak after making the final table of the WSOP a couple of years ago, almost all of it from poker players who could never have made the final and were jealous. And the hand he got most abuse about anyway was probably only a marginal mistake anyway. He was up against a complete idiot, who had already several times gone allin with very weak holdings and John could easily have the dominating hand when he called Robert Varkonyi's bet with AJ.

Who cares anyway now? John has got the lot and I'm chuffed for him.

There is a monster row going on right now on the Mob forum about the length of the levels in the big event. Personally I would have preferred hour levels, but 45 minutes should have been ok.

I say "should" have been ok because a worrying trend seemed to be establishing itself during the event. Players were dwelling up to a ridiculous extent seemingly on every hand.

One hand particularly springs to mind. With about 6 tables left and blinds of 500-1000 I limped under the gun. Paul Zimbler with about 25,000 made it 5,000 to play. Noah Boeken called (He had about 70,000). Passed back to me and I reraised 10,000 (leaving myself another 10,000). Now we had the think-a-thons. I never know what people think about for ages, when raised with a preflop raise. Surely you know within 5 seconds what you are going to do. Paul must have thought for about 4 minutes. Which is ok in itself I suppose, but after he passed Noah then spent 5 more minutes dwelling up. Now come on! Surely while Paul was thinking Noah could have decided what he was going to do afterwards. Paul passing was hardly a surprise. All in all I guess about 15% of the complete level was pent on that hand. Ridiculous.

Noah is clearly going to be some player. He is very young and is already a fearsome opponent. But, he is going to get up alot of people's noses with his behaviour unless he tones it down. When he is in a big pot he reacts very noisily and ungeltlemanly to his fortune whether good or bad. I hope he grows up soon.

The tournament itself was a case of "so near so far" for me. I felt like I played ok. I had a very nice starting table including a journo from Time Out, and at least four very soft spots and two total rocks. I got moved to a couple of much more testing tables but fared ok. I reached over 50 grand with 4 tables left, but made a couple of bad plays on the blinds with a Norwegian guy and then lost a huge pot with QQ v KK. Still, it was pleasing to play at something approaching my best for such a long time.

Seconds Out.... Round One!

2004-10-05T13:29:00.001-07:00

In last months Poker Europa Nic Szeremeta wrote the following in his editorial section:

"Europe will soon have a new poker magazine, Card Player Europe - published by the American based Shulman Media, publishers of Card Player.

"Here at Poker Europa we welcome the competition - it will keep us on our toes, make us seek new ideas, maintain our quality and generally do as good a job as possible. Competition between professional publishers always has this effect - I should know since I was the ultra competetive newspaper publishing business for a decade.

"However I am not convinced though that Shulman Media takes this view. Their idea is to put Poker Europa out of business and establish a monopoly for themselves in Europe. Look at what Trey Aldridge, advertising manager at Card Player wrote to a potential European advertiser. He said: "When Nic goes down you will need us"!

"And look at what happened in the USA. Shulman Media bought Poker Digest - a far better magazine - and immediately closed it! Well two small things:

"1) We are not going anywhere but up - and only by improving the quality of our magazine and our service.

"2) We would not sell out to Shulman Media at any price. We are not convinced it has the interests of the game at heart".

Hmmm. Interesting stuff.

I am firmly of the belief Card Player Europe is a superior magazine (I would say that, of course, wouldn't I?). Card Player is an altogther better read, with writers of the quality of Hellmuth, Negreanu, Rokach (where and when she acquired the nickname "Golden Ovaries" I don't know), Parkinson, Sexton, Ciaffone, Jones and Chan.

I was extremely flattered when Jesse May asked me to write for the publication and I'm proud to have my ramblings published by Card Player.

But, I would be very surprised and disappointed if it was Shulman Media's intention to buy out and close down Poker Europa.

There is certainly room for the two magazines to co-exist in my opinion. Poker Europa is more of a parish magazine for the poker community in Europe, performing the valuable services of informing its readership of results, upcoming competition information and player rankings. Also, the tournament revue section is very useful.

I certainly would be interested to hear what Nic means by this: "We are not convinced it has the interests of the game at heart".

I hope and believe both magazines thrive and improve by the competition. The readership will the only winner if that is the case.

The Racing Post continues its decline

2004-10-02T11:39:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought the Post could sink no lower, the last two weeks have proved me sadly wrong.

Two bookmakers have rather cheekily started each way betting on first goalscorer markets. First goalscorer market has long been a cash cow for the bookies, who bet to huge overrounds (Blue Square must be embarrassed by the amount they make on the market because they return stakes when the game finishes 0-0! Giving the punters approximately 12% back). Hills and Tote are the guilty firms (although it must be admitted their each way terms have improved to 1/2 odds for the first three goals, but this was not the case last week when it was 1/3 odds). Now, in roughly 50% of matches there are 2 goals or less and in about 20% of matches there is 1 or 0. Hence, you can see that betting each way is absolutely stupid, as much as half the time you bet all the places won't be filled.

Yet, almost unbelieveably, last week in the Post one of their football experts (sic) tipped Sami Hyppia each way to score be first goalscorer for Liverpool against Norwich.

I nearly choked on my Shreddies when I read that.

Could it get any worse this week?

Well, maybe not. But, in his awful column "Get it Ready!" Richard Birch advises his readers to back Stke to beat QPR at Evs. Now, I would certainly disagree with the selection, but everyone has opinion. Fair enough.

But, included in his reasoning for opposing the R's was this gem, "They'll also be weighed down by the curse of the 'manager of the month' award boss Ian Holloway received the Coca-Cola Championship honour this week."

I had to read that sentence about five times before I believed my own eyes. He gives three reasons why his readers should back Stoke. One is that QPR will be affected by some sort of "jinx". Completely and utterly amazing.

I have bought the Racing Post virtually every day for the last 17 years.

The standard of journalism and tipping is now so low, I am seriously thinking of giving up. It really has sunk to rock bottom now.